Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Some Clive Barker quotations on the topic of religion that I enjoy
From the following site: http://www.clivebarker.info/religion.html
"[If marooned on a desert island] I'd take a crate of videos and one book. I'd take the Bible. Because it's this massive, layered, rich, wise, dark, dangerous, ambiguous masterpiece. It seems to me to be a wonderful ragbag of drug dreams and poetry, history, violence and beauty. It's the single most important source of insight and storytelling I've ever encountered. There isn't a collection of videos, however big the crate, which could offer me compensation for that. In my fiction I am critical of the organisational elements of the Church, yes. I have contempt for many of the corruptions of the Church, and I think that when you value the Bible or the Christian message, it's easy to feel contempt for those who judge themselves worthy of carrying that message, whether it be the Swaggarts of this world or the inhumanities of the Vatican and the way its teachings seem to cause universal pain in the name of love. It's difficult to feel benign towards these populist, very often arrogant, self-centred and corrupt individuals who take upon themselves the duty of controlling the message. The distinction I make between the message-carriers and the message itself is very strong. Priests don't come out very well in my books, but the underlying mythologies - the idea of redemption, the idea of having someone to die in order to save, the idea of non- judgmental love and so on - are themes that come up over and over again in my work. But I don't write cynically about the message. I write cynically about the agents. The vocabulary of the fantastique generally is shot through with religious underpinnings of various kinds. You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to realise that, encoded in a lot of fantasy, science fiction and horror are the large problems which once would have vexed theologians. But the anxieties we feel are not addressed from the pulpit any longer. Well, they are addressed from the pulpit, it's just that there's nobody in the pews. So we look elsewhere. The worst thing you can do to children is thrust one particular religious view down their throats. There are only two ways they'll go as a consequence of that: either become indoctrinated and not think for themselves, or respond so negatively to what they've been taught they become perverse and tainted by the guilt that they're turning their backs on this thing, whatever this thing is. Catholicism is obviously the prime villain; you know, the 'once a Catholic' line. I was allowed to think for myself. I'm a believer in the sense that Blake was a believer. I'm a believer in the sense that I take the Bible as something which is available for very private interpretation, and that interpretation may not sit well with conventional interpretations. The material is there for investigation and investigation on an intimate level. Its lessons, its wisdom, its serenity, its good sense, its absurdities and malice - it's very malicious at times - are all part of what makes it remarkable. So I suppose my reading of it means I've ended up as a strange kind of believer."
"Actually the older I get, the more attractive the idea of a Sunday ritual like that becomes. And I'm serious about that. I actually wish I had more belief in the Church. There's a wonderful book by John Betjeman, who did Summoned by Bells. The first poem is about Sunday morning in England, expressing a kind of passion for a very English, and very safe vision of the world. Summoned by Bells expresses the passion for getting up on a Sunday morning and being summoned by that most reassuring of sounds to go and worship. I have a little portion of my perverse soul that has found that profoundly attractive. Doug Winter and I have spoken a lot on this and it has been almost a theme of this convention, a sort of middle-age. I was talking also to Doug Bradley about it and one of the things that I think has happened as I get older, some of the images that I found kind of repulsive as a child or a young man are coming back to me with a fresh power to seduce me. Out of England, where I haven't been in two years, those images come with particular power because I haven't been there for awhile. In Los Angeles if someone were to burn leaves, which is very unusual because it just doesn't happen, if you were to smell that sort of bitter sweet smell of burning dry vegetation I am suddenly a child again in that time of autumn and I feel a sense of longing for that again. When I was a kid, Sunday morning was a very religious time. The sound of church bells on Sunday was always very reassuring. The fact that I only ever went to church a few times in my childhood, and one of them was for a baptism of which I didn't have any choice, it doesn't mean that there wasn't an incredible power with the association. I know that even the Christmas carols and the hymns that I sang as a child, when I think about the very repugnant sentiment of them, had an extraordinary power to move me. It's an association with a feeling of childhood and feelings of security. As I get older I feel them falling away from me. I feel less and less certain of the world and I think I go back to the things that I did feel certain about as a child. Curiously some of the things are things that I believe if I had actually answered the Summons of the Bells and sat and listened to the sermons, I wouldn't be sitting here rhapsodizing about it because I would be bored witless by the experience. But the fact is that I didn't answer. So the answer is; give me another five years and I probably wouldn't be here, I would be at Mass or maybe even serving it, who knows...?"
"[If marooned on a desert island] I'd take a crate of videos and one book. I'd take the Bible. Because it's this massive, layered, rich, wise, dark, dangerous, ambiguous masterpiece. It seems to me to be a wonderful ragbag of drug dreams and poetry, history, violence and beauty. It's the single most important source of insight and storytelling I've ever encountered. There isn't a collection of videos, however big the crate, which could offer me compensation for that. In my fiction I am critical of the organisational elements of the Church, yes. I have contempt for many of the corruptions of the Church, and I think that when you value the Bible or the Christian message, it's easy to feel contempt for those who judge themselves worthy of carrying that message, whether it be the Swaggarts of this world or the inhumanities of the Vatican and the way its teachings seem to cause universal pain in the name of love. It's difficult to feel benign towards these populist, very often arrogant, self-centred and corrupt individuals who take upon themselves the duty of controlling the message. The distinction I make between the message-carriers and the message itself is very strong. Priests don't come out very well in my books, but the underlying mythologies - the idea of redemption, the idea of having someone to die in order to save, the idea of non- judgmental love and so on - are themes that come up over and over again in my work. But I don't write cynically about the message. I write cynically about the agents. The vocabulary of the fantastique generally is shot through with religious underpinnings of various kinds. You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to realise that, encoded in a lot of fantasy, science fiction and horror are the large problems which once would have vexed theologians. But the anxieties we feel are not addressed from the pulpit any longer. Well, they are addressed from the pulpit, it's just that there's nobody in the pews. So we look elsewhere. The worst thing you can do to children is thrust one particular religious view down their throats. There are only two ways they'll go as a consequence of that: either become indoctrinated and not think for themselves, or respond so negatively to what they've been taught they become perverse and tainted by the guilt that they're turning their backs on this thing, whatever this thing is. Catholicism is obviously the prime villain; you know, the 'once a Catholic' line. I was allowed to think for myself. I'm a believer in the sense that Blake was a believer. I'm a believer in the sense that I take the Bible as something which is available for very private interpretation, and that interpretation may not sit well with conventional interpretations. The material is there for investigation and investigation on an intimate level. Its lessons, its wisdom, its serenity, its good sense, its absurdities and malice - it's very malicious at times - are all part of what makes it remarkable. So I suppose my reading of it means I've ended up as a strange kind of believer."
"Actually the older I get, the more attractive the idea of a Sunday ritual like that becomes. And I'm serious about that. I actually wish I had more belief in the Church. There's a wonderful book by John Betjeman, who did Summoned by Bells. The first poem is about Sunday morning in England, expressing a kind of passion for a very English, and very safe vision of the world. Summoned by Bells expresses the passion for getting up on a Sunday morning and being summoned by that most reassuring of sounds to go and worship. I have a little portion of my perverse soul that has found that profoundly attractive. Doug Winter and I have spoken a lot on this and it has been almost a theme of this convention, a sort of middle-age. I was talking also to Doug Bradley about it and one of the things that I think has happened as I get older, some of the images that I found kind of repulsive as a child or a young man are coming back to me with a fresh power to seduce me. Out of England, where I haven't been in two years, those images come with particular power because I haven't been there for awhile. In Los Angeles if someone were to burn leaves, which is very unusual because it just doesn't happen, if you were to smell that sort of bitter sweet smell of burning dry vegetation I am suddenly a child again in that time of autumn and I feel a sense of longing for that again. When I was a kid, Sunday morning was a very religious time. The sound of church bells on Sunday was always very reassuring. The fact that I only ever went to church a few times in my childhood, and one of them was for a baptism of which I didn't have any choice, it doesn't mean that there wasn't an incredible power with the association. I know that even the Christmas carols and the hymns that I sang as a child, when I think about the very repugnant sentiment of them, had an extraordinary power to move me. It's an association with a feeling of childhood and feelings of security. As I get older I feel them falling away from me. I feel less and less certain of the world and I think I go back to the things that I did feel certain about as a child. Curiously some of the things are things that I believe if I had actually answered the Summons of the Bells and sat and listened to the sermons, I wouldn't be sitting here rhapsodizing about it because I would be bored witless by the experience. But the fact is that I didn't answer. So the answer is; give me another five years and I probably wouldn't be here, I would be at Mass or maybe even serving it, who knows...?"
Sunday, July 31, 2011
2011 Reading List Monthly Update: July
Books completed in July 2011:
"Nineteen Eighty Three" (David Peace) 7/2/11
"Q.B.L. or the Bride's Reception" (Frater Achad) 7/7/11
"Graves" (Thomas Moore) 7/9/11
"The Book of Lies" (Aleister Crowley) 7/13/11
"The Book of Pleasure (Self-Love): The Psychology of Ecstasy" (Austin Osman Spare) 7/14/11
"The Focus of Life" (Austin Osman Spare) 7/16/11
"Anathema of Zos" (Austin Osman Spare) 7/16/11
"Querelle" (Jean Genet) 7/19/11
"Myths of the Near Future" (J.G. Ballard) 7/29/11
2011 Reading List total:
1. "Welcome to my World" (Johnny Weir) 1/12/11
2. "Cold Hand in Mine" (Robert Aickman) 1/14/11
3. "The Mechanics of Homosexual Intercourse" (Lonely Christopher) 1/20/11
4. "Illuminated Shadows" (James Champagne) 1/20/11 *
5. "Eat When You Feel Sad" (Zachary German) 1/23/11
6. "The Marble Index" (James Champagne)
7. "Brigit" (Andrew Champagne) 2/15/11
8. "Gravity's Rainbow" (Thomas Pynchon) 2/25/11
9. "Demons by Daylight" (Ramsey Campbell) 3/4/11
10. "Neuromancer" (William Gibson) 3/7/11 *
11. "Don Quixote" (Kathy Acker) 3/16/11
12. "Snow Crash" (Neal Stephenson) 3/31/11
13. "Shoplifting From American Apparel" (Tao Lin) 4/1/11
14. "Franny and Zooey" (J.D. Salinger) 4/7/11
15. "The Failure" (James Greer) 4/8/11
16. "The Gospel of Anarchy" (Justin Taylor) 4/16/11
17. "Dhalgren" (Samuel R. Delany) 4/21/11
18. "There Is No Year" (Blake Butler) 4/25/11
19. "Star Maker" (Olaf Stapledon) 5/1/11
20. "Death in Venice" (Thomas Mann) 5/3/11
21. "The Celestine Prophecy" (James Redfield) 5/9/11
22. "Selfish, Little: the Annotated Lesley Ann Downey" (Peter Sotos) 5/11/11 *
23. "The Quantity Theory of Insanity" (Will Self) 5/15/11
24. "Principia Discordia" (Malaclypse the Younger) 5/18/11 *
25. "Topology of a Phantom City" (Alain Robbe-Grillet) 5/21/11
26. "The Archaic Revival" (Terence McKenna) 5/23/11
27. "The Wasp Factory" (Iain Banks) 5/27/11
28. "Stories Toto Told Me" (Baron Corvo) 5/29/11
29. "The Oblate of St. Benedict" (J.K. Huysmans) 6/2/11
30. "Ubik" (Philip K. Dick) 6/8/11
31. "Ecpyrosis: The Best of Starfire Vol. I" (Various) 6/12/11
32. "Messengers of Deception: UFO Contacts & Cults" (Jacques Vallee) 6/15/11
33. "Earth Inferno" (Austin Osman Spare) 6/18/11
34. "The Book of Satyrs" (Austin Osman Spare) 6/18/11
35. "A Scanner Darkly" (Philip K. Dick) 6/20/11
36. "Nineteen Seventy Four" (David Peace) 6/21/11
37."Nineteen Seventy Seven" (David Peace) 6/24/11
38. "Nineteen Eighty" (David Peace) 6/28/11
39. "Nineteen Eighty Three" (David Peace) 7/2/11
40. "Q.B.L. or the Bride's Reception" (Frater Achad) 7/7/11
41. "Graves" (Thomas Moore) 7/9/11
42. "The Book of Lies" (Aleister Crowley) 7/13/11
43. "The Book of Pleasure: The Psychology of Ecstasy" (Austin Osman Spare) 7/14/11
44. "The Focus of Life" (Austin Osman Spare) 7/16/11
45. "Anathema of Zos" (Austin Osman Spare) 7/16/11
46. "Querelle" (Jean Genet) 7/19/11
47. "Myths of the Near Future" (J.G. Ballard) 7/29/11
*= book I've read at least once in the past
currently reading:
"Empire Star/Babel-17" (Samuel R. Delany)
"Nineteen Eighty Three" (David Peace) 7/2/11
"Q.B.L. or the Bride's Reception" (Frater Achad) 7/7/11
"Graves" (Thomas Moore) 7/9/11
"The Book of Lies" (Aleister Crowley) 7/13/11
"The Book of Pleasure (Self-Love): The Psychology of Ecstasy" (Austin Osman Spare) 7/14/11
"The Focus of Life" (Austin Osman Spare) 7/16/11
"Anathema of Zos" (Austin Osman Spare) 7/16/11
"Querelle" (Jean Genet) 7/19/11
"Myths of the Near Future" (J.G. Ballard) 7/29/11
2011 Reading List total:
1. "Welcome to my World" (Johnny Weir) 1/12/11
2. "Cold Hand in Mine" (Robert Aickman) 1/14/11
3. "The Mechanics of Homosexual Intercourse" (Lonely Christopher) 1/20/11
4. "Illuminated Shadows" (James Champagne) 1/20/11 *
5. "Eat When You Feel Sad" (Zachary German) 1/23/11
6. "The Marble Index" (James Champagne)
7. "Brigit" (Andrew Champagne) 2/15/11
8. "Gravity's Rainbow" (Thomas Pynchon) 2/25/11
9. "Demons by Daylight" (Ramsey Campbell) 3/4/11
10. "Neuromancer" (William Gibson) 3/7/11 *
11. "Don Quixote" (Kathy Acker) 3/16/11
12. "Snow Crash" (Neal Stephenson) 3/31/11
13. "Shoplifting From American Apparel" (Tao Lin) 4/1/11
14. "Franny and Zooey" (J.D. Salinger) 4/7/11
15. "The Failure" (James Greer) 4/8/11
16. "The Gospel of Anarchy" (Justin Taylor) 4/16/11
17. "Dhalgren" (Samuel R. Delany) 4/21/11
18. "There Is No Year" (Blake Butler) 4/25/11
19. "Star Maker" (Olaf Stapledon) 5/1/11
20. "Death in Venice" (Thomas Mann) 5/3/11
21. "The Celestine Prophecy" (James Redfield) 5/9/11
22. "Selfish, Little: the Annotated Lesley Ann Downey" (Peter Sotos) 5/11/11 *
23. "The Quantity Theory of Insanity" (Will Self) 5/15/11
24. "Principia Discordia" (Malaclypse the Younger) 5/18/11 *
25. "Topology of a Phantom City" (Alain Robbe-Grillet) 5/21/11
26. "The Archaic Revival" (Terence McKenna) 5/23/11
27. "The Wasp Factory" (Iain Banks) 5/27/11
28. "Stories Toto Told Me" (Baron Corvo) 5/29/11
29. "The Oblate of St. Benedict" (J.K. Huysmans) 6/2/11
30. "Ubik" (Philip K. Dick) 6/8/11
31. "Ecpyrosis: The Best of Starfire Vol. I" (Various) 6/12/11
32. "Messengers of Deception: UFO Contacts & Cults" (Jacques Vallee) 6/15/11
33. "Earth Inferno" (Austin Osman Spare) 6/18/11
34. "The Book of Satyrs" (Austin Osman Spare) 6/18/11
35. "A Scanner Darkly" (Philip K. Dick) 6/20/11
36. "Nineteen Seventy Four" (David Peace) 6/21/11
37."Nineteen Seventy Seven" (David Peace) 6/24/11
38. "Nineteen Eighty" (David Peace) 6/28/11
39. "Nineteen Eighty Three" (David Peace) 7/2/11
40. "Q.B.L. or the Bride's Reception" (Frater Achad) 7/7/11
41. "Graves" (Thomas Moore) 7/9/11
42. "The Book of Lies" (Aleister Crowley) 7/13/11
43. "The Book of Pleasure: The Psychology of Ecstasy" (Austin Osman Spare) 7/14/11
44. "The Focus of Life" (Austin Osman Spare) 7/16/11
45. "Anathema of Zos" (Austin Osman Spare) 7/16/11
46. "Querelle" (Jean Genet) 7/19/11
47. "Myths of the Near Future" (J.G. Ballard) 7/29/11
*= book I've read at least once in the past
currently reading:
"Empire Star/Babel-17" (Samuel R. Delany)
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
My "Failed Novels" Folder
Contents include:
"Slack is Beautiful" (worked on in 2009) 115 handwritten pages + notes [Status: unfinished]
"Poisonville" (worked on in 2002) 114 handwritten pages + notes [Status: unfinished]
"The Beta Sequence" (notes only) 2006 & 2008
"Blasphemous Rumors" (worked on in 2006) 25 typed pages + notes [Status: unfinished]
"Andy Warhol Novel" (worked on in 2007) 60 typed pages + notes [Status: unfinished]
"Subhuman" (worked on in 2007/2008) 151 typed pages + notes [Status: complete, but in desperate need of revision/rewriting]
"Jormungand" (notes only) 2010
* * * *
Slack is Beautiful was an attempt to write an airy romantic comedy in the Reality Bites/Friends vein.
Poisonville was a crime novel that was my attempt to take the experience of playing a Grand Theft Auto video game and turning it into a novel.
The Beta Sequence was never a serious project: it was meant to be a spoof of the type of novel written by authors such as Robert Ludlum, Dan Brown, and Jon Land.
Blasphemous Rumors was to have been a murder mystery set at a fictitious college campus in upstate New York.
Subhuman was a short novel that revolved around my experiences as a bookseller. I still hope to rework it into something publishable one day. I'm just too lazy to rewrite the parts that need to be rewritten. But I feel with some tighter editing I could get something worthwhile from it.
Jormungand was to have been my Wes Anderson novel, about a cursed man who embarked on a journey aboard a submarine to try to find the legendary sea serpent Jormungand, in the hope that imbibing some blood from the monster would dispel his curse. At one point I did type out 30 or so pages for this project but sadly the document is now lost.
The Warhol novel is in development hell but I still hope to finish it someday.
Not included in this folder are my notes for So Below, a project I was working on in mid-2008 that was to have been my La-Bas. Mainly as I seem to have misplaced them.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
WIP: Opening paragraph of "Drawings of Patient O.T.", 1st draft
“Searchers after horror haunt strange, far places.” So begins “The Picture in the House,” a short story written by H.P. Lovecraft on Dec. 12, 1920. It’s a statement that has resonated with me ever since I first stumbled across it while flipping through the 1985 corrected sixth printing of Arkham House’s The Dunwich Horrors and Others, a book I found on my father’s bookcase when I was a child, a book with a green dust jacket and an Raymond Bayless illustration of Cthulhu emerging from his sunken tomb at R’lyeh. I can think of many people that Lovecraft’s statement could be applied to, people I’ve known in my own life in fact. Years ago, when I was attending high school at the city of Los Diablos, I knew a boy who was utterly obsessed with some old and abandoned chemical factory, an obsession which eventually led to madness and suicide. And after I graduated college and moved back to my hometown, which is the city of Thundermist in northern Rhode Island, I made friends with a gay man my own age who, like my friend from high school, was also haunted by a building, which in this case was an old church called St. Durtal’s. Even I have found myself drawn like a moth to a strange building: Kafka’s Clinic, an old abandoned mental hospital. It was there that I first came across the drawings of Patient O.T.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
From the Vault: Snapshots From my Youth Pt. 1 (1980-1991)
This is a very young picture of me... I'm probably about a year old or thereabouts here. It kind of amazes me how happy I was during my childhood, and how often I'm smiling in many of these pictures. But then again, my childhood was happy, so what did I have to be depressed about?
I think I'm around two years old here. There's probably more body fat on my face in this picture than I have on my entire body today.
On the beach in 1982.
Holding my beloved Star Wars Rancor toy. Years later, when I was studying ventriloquism during my high school years, I would employ this same Rancor as a sort of ventriloquist's dummy, as it had a movable mouth.
Opening presents on Christmas of 1984. Kermit the Frog was one of my childhood heroes. Though my favorite Muppet was Uncle Deadly, the Phantom of the Muppet Show. My very favorite episode of the Muppet Show was probably the Star Wars episode, followed by the show where Vincent Price guest starred.
My mother reading to me on Christmas of 1984.
Along with Rocky Point Amusement Park, Kings Castle Land (in Whitman, Massachusetts) was my other favorite amusement park, even though I think I only went there twice. I read somewhere once that the place closed down in 1993. Here I pose on top of a fallen giant.
Another picture of me at Kings Castle Land, posing next to a big frog. I seem to recall this amusement park also had two giant dragons that belched flames.
Stuff I received for my sixth birthday in June 1986. I can spot some Star Wars toys (including Jabba the Hutt and the Wampa snow monster), Gumby and Pokey toys, and the Madballs toy known as Oculus Orbus, which probably sparked my fascination with eyeballs.
Christmas 1986. On the television set is a manger, that my parents still set up every year during the holiday season. On the bookshelf behind me I can read a few of the titles my mother owned: The Exorcist, The Bell Jar, Carrie, and, uh, Dallas.
Graduating from kindergarten in 1986, posing with a nun, who I think was one of my teachers, though I forget her name. Was it she who taught me about death? For kindergarten my parents sent me to a Catholic school, but it was kind of expensive so the following year they enrolled me at Bernon Heights elementary school, a public school.
Me posing next to a large shark poster at Mystic Aquarium in Connecticut, sometime in the early-to-mid 1980's. As a child, I was obsessed with sharks, and owned many shark t-shirts and stuffed animals. My favorite stuffed animal was a shark hand puppet that I named "Shark Puppet." In this picture it looks like I'm about to start busting out some rap dance moves.
Smiling for the camera in June, 1987.
My 7th birthday party, on June 17th, 1987. Here I pose behind my cake, the infamous Stay Puft Marshmallow Man cake. The theme that year was Ghostbusters, which was one of my favorite films. Other films I enjoyed in my youth wereThe Dark Crystal, Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, Godzilla, and the Star Wars trilogy.
Opening presents at my 7th birthday party. In this picture, I'm unwrapping the Ghostbusters computer game for the Commodore 64, while my father and two of my brothers look on.
Posing with some of my birthday swag. For some reason I'm holding my two favorite stuffed animals in this picture, even though I had gotten them in a previous year.
More posing.
A close-up of the famous Stay Puft Marshmallow Man cake.
When I was a child, Halloween was, after Christmas, my favorite holiday. I just loved dressing up. My mother's a quilter, and she would often hand make costumes for my brothers and I. The above picture, taken on Halloween in 1987, showcases my favorite costume she made for me, that of a shark. It won second place in the school costume contest that day.
A side view of the shark costume.
Posing with my three younger brothers on Halloween. That year we apparently all dressed up as our favorite animals at that time.
June 17th, 1988: my eight birthday party. The theme that year was Pillsbury Doughboy, oddly enough.
Another picture from Mystic Aquarium, this one taken in 1988. This time I'm posing next to an actual shark, who doesn't look entirely pleased. As usual I'm holding my two favorite stuffed animals, Shark Puppet and Sammy.
October 1988. I'm in the backyard of our old house (my family and I moved into a new one the following year), showing off a praying mantis that had crawled onto my t-shirt. Aside from my obsession with sharks, I also had a huge interest in bugs and insect life in general, with the exception of bees.
This is me receiving First Communion on May 14, 1989, at Our Lady Queen of Martyrs Church (where I also had my Confirmation, in 1996). The priest in this picture was the church's pastor at that time, Father Bill. I think this is one of the only times in my life where I've ever worn a suit. Below is a certificate I got marking the occasion:
This picture was taken in December 1990, when I was in the fifth grade. During my grade school years, I acted in two plays. One of them was entitled The Giggling Goblin, where I played a supporting character named "Dr. Dracula." The second one was Old King Cole, where I played the lead (and titular) character. In this photo I'm seated in the center, clad in a black cape and wearing a crown that was probably made from construction paper. The only thing I can recall from the experience was a realization that I had no interest in pursuing acting.
This was taken in June of 1991. That's me holding my pet lizard, Spiky, who I ended up immortalizing in a short story I wrote for school the following year (a story I posted on this blog not too long ago: http://onyxglossary.blogspot.com/2011/05/from-vault-adventures-of-spiky.html)
Christmas 1991, holding up my notorious Steve Urkel t-shirt, which I actually wore in public. That might explain why I got picked on in school. I actually dressed as Steve Urkel for Halloween of that same year, but out of respect for the sanity of all right-thinking readers of this blog I won't post that picture.
To be continued...
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
2011 Reading List Monthly Update: May
Books completed in May 2011:
"Star Maker" (Olaf Stapledon) 5/1/11
"Death in Venice" (Thomas Mann) 5/3/11
"The Celestine Prophecy" (James Redfield) 5/9/11
"Selfish, Little: the Annotated Lesley Ann Downey" (Peter Sotos) 5/11/11 *
"The Quantity Theory of Insanity" (Will Self) 5/15/11
"Principia Discordia" (Malaclypse the Younger) 5/18/11 *
"Topology of a Phantom City" (Alain Robbe-Grillet) 5/21/11
"The Archaic Revival" (Terence McKenna) 5/23/11
"The Wasp Factory" (Iain Banks) 5/27/11
"Stories Toto Told Me" (Baron Corvo) 5/29/11
2011 Reading List total:
1. "Welcome to my World" (Johnny Weir) 1/12/11
2. "Cold Hand in Mine" (Robert Aickman) 1/14/11
3. "The Mechanics of Homosexual Intercourse" (Lonely Christopher) 1/20/11
4. "Illuminated Shadows" (James Champagne) 1/20/11 *
5. "Eat When You Feel Sad" (Zachary German) 1/23/11
6. "The Marble Index" (James Champagne)
7. "Brigit" (Andrew Champagne) 2/15/11
8. "Gravity's Rainbow" (Thomas Pynchon) 2/25/11
9. "Demons by Daylight" (Ramsey Campbell) 3/4/11
10. "Neuromancer" (William Gibson) 3/7/11 *
11. "Don Quixote" (Kathy Acker) 3/16/11
12. "Snow Crash" (Neal Stephenson) 3/31/11
13. "Shoplifting From American Apparel" (Tao Lin) 4/1/11
14. "Franny and Zooey" (J.D. Salinger) 4/7/11
15. "The Failure" (James Greer) 4/8/11
16. "The Gospel of Anarchy" (Justin Taylor) 4/16/11
17. "Dhalgren" (Samuel R. Delany) 4/21/11
18. "There Is No Year" (Blake Butler) 4/25/11
19. "Star Maker" (Olaf Stapledon) 5/1/11
20. "Death in Venice" (Thomas Mann) 5/3/11
21. "The Celestine Prophecy" (James Redfield) 5/9/11
22. "Selfish, Little: the Annotated Lesley Ann Downey" (Peter Sotos) 5/11/11 *
23. "The Quantity Theory of Insanity" (Will Self) 5/15/11
24. "Principia Discordia" (Malaclypse the Younger) 5/18/11 *
25. "Topology of a Phantom City" (Alain Robbe-Grillet) 5/21/11
26. "The Archaic Revival" (Terence McKenna) 5/23/11
27. "The Wasp Factory" (Iain Banks) 5/27/11
28. "Stories Toto Told Me" (Baron Corvo) 5/29/11
*= book I've read at least once in the past
currently reading:
"Ecpyrosis: The Best of Starfire Volume One"
"The Oblate of St. Benedict" (J.K. Huysmans)
"Star Maker" (Olaf Stapledon) 5/1/11
"Death in Venice" (Thomas Mann) 5/3/11
"The Celestine Prophecy" (James Redfield) 5/9/11
"Selfish, Little: the Annotated Lesley Ann Downey" (Peter Sotos) 5/11/11 *
"The Quantity Theory of Insanity" (Will Self) 5/15/11
"Principia Discordia" (Malaclypse the Younger) 5/18/11 *
"Topology of a Phantom City" (Alain Robbe-Grillet) 5/21/11
"The Archaic Revival" (Terence McKenna) 5/23/11
"The Wasp Factory" (Iain Banks) 5/27/11
"Stories Toto Told Me" (Baron Corvo) 5/29/11
2011 Reading List total:
1. "Welcome to my World" (Johnny Weir) 1/12/11
2. "Cold Hand in Mine" (Robert Aickman) 1/14/11
3. "The Mechanics of Homosexual Intercourse" (Lonely Christopher) 1/20/11
4. "Illuminated Shadows" (James Champagne) 1/20/11 *
5. "Eat When You Feel Sad" (Zachary German) 1/23/11
6. "The Marble Index" (James Champagne)
7. "Brigit" (Andrew Champagne) 2/15/11
8. "Gravity's Rainbow" (Thomas Pynchon) 2/25/11
9. "Demons by Daylight" (Ramsey Campbell) 3/4/11
10. "Neuromancer" (William Gibson) 3/7/11 *
11. "Don Quixote" (Kathy Acker) 3/16/11
12. "Snow Crash" (Neal Stephenson) 3/31/11
13. "Shoplifting From American Apparel" (Tao Lin) 4/1/11
14. "Franny and Zooey" (J.D. Salinger) 4/7/11
15. "The Failure" (James Greer) 4/8/11
16. "The Gospel of Anarchy" (Justin Taylor) 4/16/11
17. "Dhalgren" (Samuel R. Delany) 4/21/11
18. "There Is No Year" (Blake Butler) 4/25/11
19. "Star Maker" (Olaf Stapledon) 5/1/11
20. "Death in Venice" (Thomas Mann) 5/3/11
21. "The Celestine Prophecy" (James Redfield) 5/9/11
22. "Selfish, Little: the Annotated Lesley Ann Downey" (Peter Sotos) 5/11/11 *
23. "The Quantity Theory of Insanity" (Will Self) 5/15/11
24. "Principia Discordia" (Malaclypse the Younger) 5/18/11 *
25. "Topology of a Phantom City" (Alain Robbe-Grillet) 5/21/11
26. "The Archaic Revival" (Terence McKenna) 5/23/11
27. "The Wasp Factory" (Iain Banks) 5/27/11
28. "Stories Toto Told Me" (Baron Corvo) 5/29/11
*= book I've read at least once in the past
currently reading:
"Ecpyrosis: The Best of Starfire Volume One"
"The Oblate of St. Benedict" (J.K. Huysmans)
Monday, May 30, 2011
From the Vault: The Adventures of Spiky
What follows is a short story I wrote as a student in the sixth grade, during my first year at Woonsocket Junior High School. This story, which was written in January of 1992, consists of 8 pages of text (written out in cursive on lined paper) and 7 pages of illustrations (done in colored markers), along with a title page. Apparently the powers that be felt that my story was good enough to win me that year's "Young Author Award" for my grade. It was the second time I had received such an award, the first time being when I was in second grade, for a contemporary re-imagining of the Frosty the Snowman story. The story that won me an award in the sixth grade, and which I now reproduce here, is entitled The Adventures of Spiky. The setting is my parent's house (where I still live), and the hero is Spiky, who was my pet lizard at the time (see the notes following the story for more details on this). The supporting cast was also modeled after pets that shared our home at that time. So, without further ado, here then is the worldwide debut of The Adventures of Spiky... (click on the illustrations if you want to see them in greater detail)
The Adventures of Spiky
James Champagne
(January 1992: written in the sixth grade)
* * * *
It was a beautiful day in the Champagne house. The sun shone brightly on Spiky’s aquarium. Spiky was James Champagne’s lizard. He had gotten Spiky for his birthday. In Spiky’s aquarium, there was a heat rock, a water bowl, a false lizard toy, a glass dinosaur, and a big wooden stick.
Spiky had a tannish, brownish color. Around his neck was a black piece of skin. He also had a spiky tail.
James came in the room, holding a box of crickets. “Food time, Spiky!” he said. He gave Spiky two crickets. They were big.
“Hello!” said the crickets.
“Hello, lunch and dinner!” said Spiky, drooling.
“Wait! You can’t eat us! Not when there is a whole house to explore!” cried the crickets.
“What?” asked Spiky, climbing up his stick.
“Oh, you really should enjoy the house,” they agreed. “The next time James opens the aquarium door, hop out!” said the crickets.
“Well, okay, but just for this once!” said Spiky, uncertainly.
The next day, James walked up to Spiky’s aquarium with the box of crickets. He opened the little door. Jump! Spiky hopped out. “Hey, get back here, Spiky!” cried James, but Spiky was long gone.
“Wow, this place is huge!” said Spiky. He crawled to the kitchen. All the furniture loomed over him. He found a piece of yarn and climbed up to the counter. Then he hopped into a bowl of cold soup.
“Brrrr! It’s cold in here!” muttered Spiky. “Now, how will I get off the counter?”
Then he saw a spoon. He climbed on one end of the spoon, and threw a meatball on the other end. Spring! He got sprung into the cat’s food bowl. What bad timing! Two cats, Rusty and Panda appeared.
“I’m outta here!” cried Spiky. He ran away, but the cats were still chasing him. He ran into the den. The cats were still following him. He ran faster. Soon he was at Hamton’s (the family hamster) cage.
“Can I come in?” asked Spiky.
“Sure!” said Hampton. He opened his cage’s door, and Spiky ran in. The cats gave up and walked away.
“Who, may I ask, are you?” asked Hampton.
“I am Spiky, the lizard who lives in the parlor. I decided to have a vacation, and those cats started chasing me.”
“Well, you can stay here as long as you want,” said Hampton.
Spiky enjoyed it in Hampton’s cage. It reminded him of his own aquarium. Soon he was homesick. So he made a plan. “When everyone is asleep, I will sneak back into my aquarium,” he thought. Soon it was midnight. Everyone was asleep. “Here’s my chance!” said Spiky.
He sneaked out of Hampton’s cage and crawled away. He was back in the kitchen. Everything was dark and scary. “Gulp,” said Spiky. He edged into the hallway. Okay, now he was at the door to the bathroom. He was almost at the door to the parlor! Just a little more, a little more…
Boom! Peter, the big black dog, burst into the room! He ran at Spiky. “Grrrrr!” he said. Spiky scrambled down the hallway, but the dog was still following him. So he ran into the basement and shut the door. Phew! He was safe! He crawled down the stairs.
Then, Rusty and Panda appeared. Uh oh! Spiky had forgotten that Rusty and Panda slept down there at night. Spiky ran up onto the pool table. The cats followed, but they slipped on the balls.
Spiky ran into one of the pockets in the pool table. He turned and saw an 8 ball rolling at him! Spiky ran off the pool table and climbed on the boards on the roof.
“Phew!” said Spiky. He crawled along the roof. Suddenly, he stepped right into a spider web.
“Uh oh!” said Spiky as a big spider crawled at him. What could he do? He couldn’t move, and the spider was coming closer! There was just one thing he could do! So he hissed. “Hisssssssssss!” hissed Spiky. The spider was so startled he accidentally cut Spiky’s ropes. Spiky ran past the confused spider and hopped from the roof on to the stairs!
Poor Spiky was so tired when he got upstairs, he just wanted to get in his aquarium. Then, he felt dog breath on his neck again! It was Peter the dog!
Spiky quickly jumped on the dog. He grappled the dog’s collar with his claws. The dog got all riled up and ran toward the basement. Spiky let go of the collar and crawled on the dog’s face. The dog went into a frenzy. Spiky hung on for dear life. The dog ran up the stairs, into Mom and Dad’s room. “Who’s there!” asked Dad. “It’s the dog!” cried Mom. “And Spiky’s on top of him! James will be so happy!” So they put Spiky into his aquarium.
The next morning, James woke up and walked downstairs. There, to his amazement, he saw Spiky in his aquarium. “Spiky, I’m so glad to see you!” Then he called Mom, Dad, and his three brothers, Tommy, Billy, and Andrew. They all had a small party. That night, comfortable in his cage again, Spiky walked over to the crickets.
“Did you have a good vacation?” they asked.
“Gulp!” went Spiky. Now those troublesome crickets were in his stomach! He happily fell asleep.
* * * *
NOTES:
Re-reading this story after all these years was a somewhat bittersweet experience for me, seeing as how all of the animals depicted within, such as my beloved cat Rusty, died many years ago. I find it odd that I decided to use Peter the dog as the story's antagonist, as in real-life Peter was perhaps one of the gentlest and easy-going dogs I've ever encountered (to this day, my mother often refers to him as "St. Peter" in fact). I wish I had spent more time on the illustrations: I was taking advanced art classes at the time, though you wouldn't know it from looking at the drawings (the rendition of the spider web in particular is painfully crude). Having said that, I like the drawing that showcases Spiky launching himself into the air via spoon and meatball, quite MacGyver that.
Sadly, poor Spiky passed away a few months after this story was written. His decline and death were hard for me as, unlike the cats and dogs of the house, he was my own personal pet. My mother and I tried to get him back to health by force-feeding him crickets (a confession: I never did quite feel comfortable feeding him live crickets in general, but that's the only thing he would eat), and during his last days I would spend hours sitting by his aquarium just to be by his side. When he died, my family actually sent me a sympathy card in the mail (though really, I suppose they could have just given it to me), telling me what a good friend I had been to Spiky and how he would always be with me in spirit. I had totally forgotten about this card until I found it a few days ago in one of my old shoe boxes that I use to house personal belongings. In any events, Spiky's memory lives on. Below is a picture of him:
Spiky and me.
The Adventures of Spiky
James Champagne
(January 1992: written in the sixth grade)
* * * *
It was a beautiful day in the Champagne house. The sun shone brightly on Spiky’s aquarium. Spiky was James Champagne’s lizard. He had gotten Spiky for his birthday. In Spiky’s aquarium, there was a heat rock, a water bowl, a false lizard toy, a glass dinosaur, and a big wooden stick.
Spiky had a tannish, brownish color. Around his neck was a black piece of skin. He also had a spiky tail.
James came in the room, holding a box of crickets. “Food time, Spiky!” he said. He gave Spiky two crickets. They were big.
“Hello!” said the crickets.
“Hello, lunch and dinner!” said Spiky, drooling.
“Wait! You can’t eat us! Not when there is a whole house to explore!” cried the crickets.
“What?” asked Spiky, climbing up his stick.
“Oh, you really should enjoy the house,” they agreed. “The next time James opens the aquarium door, hop out!” said the crickets.
“Well, okay, but just for this once!” said Spiky, uncertainly.
The next day, James walked up to Spiky’s aquarium with the box of crickets. He opened the little door. Jump! Spiky hopped out. “Hey, get back here, Spiky!” cried James, but Spiky was long gone.
“Wow, this place is huge!” said Spiky. He crawled to the kitchen. All the furniture loomed over him. He found a piece of yarn and climbed up to the counter. Then he hopped into a bowl of cold soup.
“Brrrr! It’s cold in here!” muttered Spiky. “Now, how will I get off the counter?”
Then he saw a spoon. He climbed on one end of the spoon, and threw a meatball on the other end. Spring! He got sprung into the cat’s food bowl. What bad timing! Two cats, Rusty and Panda appeared.
“I’m outta here!” cried Spiky. He ran away, but the cats were still chasing him. He ran into the den. The cats were still following him. He ran faster. Soon he was at Hamton’s (the family hamster) cage.
“Can I come in?” asked Spiky.
“Sure!” said Hampton. He opened his cage’s door, and Spiky ran in. The cats gave up and walked away.
“Who, may I ask, are you?” asked Hampton.
“I am Spiky, the lizard who lives in the parlor. I decided to have a vacation, and those cats started chasing me.”
“Well, you can stay here as long as you want,” said Hampton.
Spiky enjoyed it in Hampton’s cage. It reminded him of his own aquarium. Soon he was homesick. So he made a plan. “When everyone is asleep, I will sneak back into my aquarium,” he thought. Soon it was midnight. Everyone was asleep. “Here’s my chance!” said Spiky.
He sneaked out of Hampton’s cage and crawled away. He was back in the kitchen. Everything was dark and scary. “Gulp,” said Spiky. He edged into the hallway. Okay, now he was at the door to the bathroom. He was almost at the door to the parlor! Just a little more, a little more…
Boom! Peter, the big black dog, burst into the room! He ran at Spiky. “Grrrrr!” he said. Spiky scrambled down the hallway, but the dog was still following him. So he ran into the basement and shut the door. Phew! He was safe! He crawled down the stairs.
Then, Rusty and Panda appeared. Uh oh! Spiky had forgotten that Rusty and Panda slept down there at night. Spiky ran up onto the pool table. The cats followed, but they slipped on the balls.
Spiky ran into one of the pockets in the pool table. He turned and saw an 8 ball rolling at him! Spiky ran off the pool table and climbed on the boards on the roof.
“Phew!” said Spiky. He crawled along the roof. Suddenly, he stepped right into a spider web.
“Uh oh!” said Spiky as a big spider crawled at him. What could he do? He couldn’t move, and the spider was coming closer! There was just one thing he could do! So he hissed. “Hisssssssssss!” hissed Spiky. The spider was so startled he accidentally cut Spiky’s ropes. Spiky ran past the confused spider and hopped from the roof on to the stairs!
Poor Spiky was so tired when he got upstairs, he just wanted to get in his aquarium. Then, he felt dog breath on his neck again! It was Peter the dog!
Spiky quickly jumped on the dog. He grappled the dog’s collar with his claws. The dog got all riled up and ran toward the basement. Spiky let go of the collar and crawled on the dog’s face. The dog went into a frenzy. Spiky hung on for dear life. The dog ran up the stairs, into Mom and Dad’s room. “Who’s there!” asked Dad. “It’s the dog!” cried Mom. “And Spiky’s on top of him! James will be so happy!” So they put Spiky into his aquarium.
The next morning, James woke up and walked downstairs. There, to his amazement, he saw Spiky in his aquarium. “Spiky, I’m so glad to see you!” Then he called Mom, Dad, and his three brothers, Tommy, Billy, and Andrew. They all had a small party. That night, comfortable in his cage again, Spiky walked over to the crickets.
“Did you have a good vacation?” they asked.
“Gulp!” went Spiky. Now those troublesome crickets were in his stomach! He happily fell asleep.
* * * *
NOTES:
Re-reading this story after all these years was a somewhat bittersweet experience for me, seeing as how all of the animals depicted within, such as my beloved cat Rusty, died many years ago. I find it odd that I decided to use Peter the dog as the story's antagonist, as in real-life Peter was perhaps one of the gentlest and easy-going dogs I've ever encountered (to this day, my mother often refers to him as "St. Peter" in fact). I wish I had spent more time on the illustrations: I was taking advanced art classes at the time, though you wouldn't know it from looking at the drawings (the rendition of the spider web in particular is painfully crude). Having said that, I like the drawing that showcases Spiky launching himself into the air via spoon and meatball, quite MacGyver that.
Sadly, poor Spiky passed away a few months after this story was written. His decline and death were hard for me as, unlike the cats and dogs of the house, he was my own personal pet. My mother and I tried to get him back to health by force-feeding him crickets (a confession: I never did quite feel comfortable feeding him live crickets in general, but that's the only thing he would eat), and during his last days I would spend hours sitting by his aquarium just to be by his side. When he died, my family actually sent me a sympathy card in the mail (though really, I suppose they could have just given it to me), telling me what a good friend I had been to Spiky and how he would always be with me in spirit. I had totally forgotten about this card until I found it a few days ago in one of my old shoe boxes that I use to house personal belongings. In any events, Spiky's memory lives on. Below is a picture of him:
Spiky and me.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
From the Vault: Halloween Time (poem)
The following poem was composed when I was a student at Bernon Heights Elementary School, probably when I was in the second or third grade. It won some kind of school-wide poetry contest that was being held then, and I and the rest of the winners had to go down to a local radio station and read our poem on-air, which was, needless to say, an interesting experience.
"Halloween Time"
by James Champagne
It's Halloween, and the Ghostly Queen,
is sending out monsters all slimy and green.
On the streets are headless goons,
and a wicked witch flies past the moon.
Jack-o-lantern's eyes are bright,
as people run in terror or fright.
A ghost goes and haunts a house,
scaring away a giant mouse.
The werewolves run and bite people they've never met,
causing many horrible deaths.
Vampires bite people on the necks,
a giant frog says "Blech!"
But out comes the sun, the monsters run,
and Halloween is all done.
* * * *
Some tortured rhyming aside, I kind of like the Edward Gorey-ish vibe of this piece, and it interests me that so many years later I'm still mining the same horrific/monster imagery that so obsessed me when I was a child. Everyday is Halloween indeed!
"Halloween Time"
by James Champagne
It's Halloween, and the Ghostly Queen,
is sending out monsters all slimy and green.
On the streets are headless goons,
and a wicked witch flies past the moon.
Jack-o-lantern's eyes are bright,
as people run in terror or fright.
A ghost goes and haunts a house,
scaring away a giant mouse.
The werewolves run and bite people they've never met,
causing many horrible deaths.
Vampires bite people on the necks,
a giant frog says "Blech!"
But out comes the sun, the monsters run,
and Halloween is all done.
* * * *
Some tortured rhyming aside, I kind of like the Edward Gorey-ish vibe of this piece, and it interests me that so many years later I'm still mining the same horrific/monster imagery that so obsessed me when I was a child. Everyday is Halloween indeed!
Friday, May 27, 2011
From the Vault: My 1992 Summer Reading List!
1. How to eat Fried Worms (Thomas Rockwell)
2. Batman Returns (movie novelization)
3. Chicken Trek (Stephen Manes)
4. The Fright Face Contest (Stephen Mooser)
5. Rats (Pat Hutchins)
6. Slim Down Camp (Stephen Manes)
7. Revenge of the Nerd (John McNamara)
8. Wally (Judre Walkoff)
9. Be an Interplanetary Spy (Seth McEvoy)
10. Make Four Million Dollars by Next Thursday (Stephen Manes)
11. The Curse of the Egyptian Mummy (Pat Hutchins)
12. Monster of the Year (Stephen Mooser)
13. The Pink Panther Adventures in Z Land (David L. Harrison)
14. Star Wars: the Glove of Darth Vader (Paul Davids)
15. Doors to Doom (Bill McCay)
16. Koopa Capers (Bill McCay)
17. Pipe Down! (Clyde Bosco)
18. Unjust Desserts (Matt Wayne)
19. The Crystal Trap (Matt Wayne)
20. Brain Drain (Matt Wayne)
21. Leaping Lizards (Clyde Bosco)
22. Flown the Koopa (Matt Wayne)
23. Star Wars: Zorba the Hutt's Revenge (Paul Davids)
24. Star Wars: the Lost City of the Jedi (Paul Davids)
25. Hollywood Dinosaur (Daniel Cohen)
26. Honey I Blew up the Kid (Todd Shasser)
27. The Escape of the Plant That ate Dirty Socks (Nancy McArthur)
28. Steve Urkel's Super-Cool Guide to Success (Billy Aronson)
29. Monster Mix-up (Bill McCay)
30. The Shadow Prince (Matt Wayne)
31. Monster Maker (Nicholas Fish)
32. Crazy Mixed-up Valentines (Stephen Mooser)
-The spellings of the last names of a few of these authors might be incorrect.
-Entries #15-22, along with #30, were from the Super Mario Bros. and Legend of Zelda "choose your own adventures" series.
-I seem to recall really loving "The Curse of the Egyptian Mummy," to the extent that I just ordered a used copy of it off Amazon a few minutes ago, though I forget most of the content. "Chicken Trek" was pretty good also as I recall.
-Six years after this list and I'd be reading "Naked Lunch." Proof that it's a thin line that separates "Steve Urkel's Super-Cool Guide to Success" with avant-garde counter-cultural fiction.
2. Batman Returns (movie novelization)
3. Chicken Trek (Stephen Manes)
4. The Fright Face Contest (Stephen Mooser)
5. Rats (Pat Hutchins)
6. Slim Down Camp (Stephen Manes)
7. Revenge of the Nerd (John McNamara)
8. Wally (Judre Walkoff)
9. Be an Interplanetary Spy (Seth McEvoy)
10. Make Four Million Dollars by Next Thursday (Stephen Manes)
11. The Curse of the Egyptian Mummy (Pat Hutchins)
12. Monster of the Year (Stephen Mooser)
13. The Pink Panther Adventures in Z Land (David L. Harrison)
14. Star Wars: the Glove of Darth Vader (Paul Davids)
15. Doors to Doom (Bill McCay)
16. Koopa Capers (Bill McCay)
17. Pipe Down! (Clyde Bosco)
18. Unjust Desserts (Matt Wayne)
19. The Crystal Trap (Matt Wayne)
20. Brain Drain (Matt Wayne)
21. Leaping Lizards (Clyde Bosco)
22. Flown the Koopa (Matt Wayne)
23. Star Wars: Zorba the Hutt's Revenge (Paul Davids)
24. Star Wars: the Lost City of the Jedi (Paul Davids)
25. Hollywood Dinosaur (Daniel Cohen)
26. Honey I Blew up the Kid (Todd Shasser)
27. The Escape of the Plant That ate Dirty Socks (Nancy McArthur)
28. Steve Urkel's Super-Cool Guide to Success (Billy Aronson)
29. Monster Mix-up (Bill McCay)
30. The Shadow Prince (Matt Wayne)
31. Monster Maker (Nicholas Fish)
32. Crazy Mixed-up Valentines (Stephen Mooser)
-The spellings of the last names of a few of these authors might be incorrect.
-Entries #15-22, along with #30, were from the Super Mario Bros. and Legend of Zelda "choose your own adventures" series.
-I seem to recall really loving "The Curse of the Egyptian Mummy," to the extent that I just ordered a used copy of it off Amazon a few minutes ago, though I forget most of the content. "Chicken Trek" was pretty good also as I recall.
-Six years after this list and I'd be reading "Naked Lunch." Proof that it's a thin line that separates "Steve Urkel's Super-Cool Guide to Success" with avant-garde counter-cultural fiction.
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