Wednesday, February 14, 2024

Bathroom Reads #1: THE DARK SIDE OF GENIUS: THE LIFE OF ALFRED HITCHCOCK by Donald Spoto

Over the years I've kind of created a small list of books that I tend to often read while in the bathroom, and sometimes at least once a year (and as someone who suffers from IBS, there are periods every now and then where I can spend a disturbingly long period of time in there). Although I've never put these books on my official reading lists because (unlike the books that DO end up on such lists) in some cases I haven't read every single word in them (like the copyright page or the bibliography or whatever), in an unorthodox and at times nonlinear fashion I have, in a weird way, read through some of these books so many times over the years that I almost can claim to have read them, albeit in an unofficial fashion. Anyway, over the course of this year I might do a few posts on here highlighting some of these loyal soldiers, who have gotten me through tough times.

* * * *

“There’s a devil in every one us.”

— Alfred Hitchcock

“Hitchcock’s private style and, opposed to it, his calculated bourgeois exterior, were signs of an inner division. He considered all life unmanageable, and his obsessive neatness (like his careful preparation of a film) was a way of taking a stand against the chaos he believed was always at the ready, to be fended off with whatever wit and structure one could muster. Social life he thought to be a giant hypocrisy. He carried the burden of disguise as all his suave villains do, and the attempt at elegance concealed the boyish secret, the second, hidden, imagined life. The paradox of Alfred Hitchcock was that his delight in his craft could never be liberated from a terrible and terrifying heritage of desire and its concomitant guilt.”

—Donald Spoto, The Dark Side of Genius: The Life of Alfred Hitchcock  

My introduction to the world of Alfred Hitchcock occurred in Fall semester of my Freshman year at Rhode Island College, in the autumn of 1998. One of the films we saw that semester was Hitchcock’s 1951 film Strangers on a Train. Although I had obviously heard of Hitchcock’s name before and knew of him, Strangers on a Train was the first film of his I ever saw, and I really enjoyed it. At another point in my days as a college student I took a class exclusively dedicated to the films of Hitchcock, which got me even more interested in his work. I can’t quite claim to be a Hitchcock expert, as of his 53 films, over the last 25 years or so I’ve seen around 20 of them: though of those 20 they do at least span the entire length of Hitch’s long career, from his early silent films to the British talkies of the 30s to his Selznick period in the 40s to his golden era of the 1950s and early 60s, and even some of his latter day films. One thing I do recall about the Hitchcock course I took back in college was, after we had seen The Birds, the professor told us about how Hitchcock had become very obsessed with the actress Tippi Hedren, and how we could read about it in the book The Dark Side of Genius by Donald Spoto. Shortly after that I went to the campus library (by far the place I spent the most time at during my years at RIC) and found the book in question: naturally, the first thing I did was read about the tumultuous friction that developed between Hitchcock and Hedren as the result of his obsession with her during the shooting of The Birds and Marnie. Later I purchased a copy of the book from the school store, and that’s the copy I still have to this day. As you can see, this book is well-used, to the extent that some pages are literally falling out, and there’s even a bit of water damage to it (I have no idea how that happened). It’s also one of the only books I own where I dog-eared some of my favorite pages: normally when I read a book I keep a separate sheet of paper nearby where I write down notes for the book I’m reading, as I like to keep my books in good condition. But with a book this old and beat-up, such decorum is not necessary.

Although I do not share many of Hitchcock’s indulgences (in particular, his addiction to food and drink), in many ways I can see a lot of myself in Hitch: a similar spiritual background in that we both had a Catholic upbringing, an obsession with order and routine as a way to stave off chaos, a fussy and compulsive neatness, a macabre fascination in the darkest passages of the human mind (which often manifested itself in an interest in the writings of the Gothics), a yearning for the creature comforts of life and a desire to avoid physical suffering at all cost, a Victorian love-hate squeamishness in regards to the human body and its operations, the desire to be an enigma, the adoption of a social pose of detachment/aloofness/snobbery (itself a brilliant disguise to mask a crippling anxiety; the actress Anne Baxter one summed him up memorably: “He had an extraordinary stillness, but then he could move with sudden speed — it was like lightning masqueraded in a Buddha’s casing”), and especially his abstaining from most human physical contact (one of his writers, Arthur Laurents, once said about him that “He thought everyone was doing something physical and nasty behind every closed door — except himself: he withdrew, he wouldn’t be part of it.” A statement proven by Hitchcock’s own admission to Spoto in 1975: “My exertion is all from the neck up. I watch”). Like Hitchcock, I also, from childhood, have had a terror of vomiting and nausea.

Hitchcock, in many ways, was a paradoxical figure, something that Spoto addresses in his book: “He was a profoundly Victorian Catholic, a rigid moralist, who ate and drank too much. He was a classical filmmaker and a manipulator of effects who loved a technical challenge. He was a childlike romantic living in an isolated, chilly gloom. Meticulous at work, he was cavalier and reckless about his health. Proper in public, he was inclined, if there was no microphone present, to outrageous toilet humor. He was the soul of gentility for the press, but he secretly reveled in the ugly, and coolly presented it for the audience’s consideration.” I’m also very fascinated in that for Hitchcock, the real fun of making movies was when he was alone with his writers, planning it all out on paper: but the actual filming of the movie he hated, because by then he had already filmed the whole thing in his head and had to rely on actors and technicians to try their best to depict his vivid fantasies. Funnily enough, Siouxsie & The Banshees (which I tie with Nine Inch Nails as my favorite band) were also big Hitchcock enthusiasts: the band named one of their singles “Spellbound” (inspired by the Hitchcock film of the same name), while the guitars in “Suburban Relapse” echo the violin screeches of Bernard Herrmann’s score for the infamous shower scene in Psycho (in 2014, Siouxsie Sioux and Steven Severin also compiled a 14 track CD for MOJO magazine, one of the songs being taken from Vertigo). Now that I think about it, I believe that Kim Gordon is a fan as well: one of her songs for Sonic Youth took its title from Hitchcock’s Shadow of a Doubt. Finally, I also admire Hitchcock’s almost Warholian style of self-promotion, and his method of trying to land a title for a project early on: in Spoto’s book, mention is made of how “Hitchcock felt that the lack of a definite title gave the production an atmosphere of the haphazard and a lack of focus — attitudes he shunned at all cost and energy.”

To return to Spoto’s book, I think it is a very interesting warts and all biography, one that spotlights both Hitchcock’s virtues and flaws. Some may accuse Spoto of playing the armchair psychologist, and certainly the book doesn’t shy away from some of Hitch’s more prurient desires and obsessions, but to be fair, in life, Hitchcock was often the same way. But I think a big part of the book’s appeal, to me, is that it’s very well-written. Consider the following passage from the book (my favorite passage, actually) on pg. 465, in which he makes a comparison between the works of Hitchcock and Hieronymus Bosch: “Seekers after the ideal and moralists in spite of themselves, Bosch and Hitchcock each spoke out of the sadness of his age and the experience of massive evil — and each addressed the terror of human isolation that he perceived within his soul, a terror that provided the strongest clue to the meaning of damnation. And finally, each artist regularly tucked himself into a modest corner of his own work as a signature; Bosch’s face and Hitchcock’s cameo are more than seals of authorship — they peer as players in their own nightmares.”

The last few sections of the book, dealing with Hitchcock’s physical and mental decline, his slide into chronic alcoholism and senility, and the loss of his will to live following the realization that he would never be able to do another film again, are almost unbearably poignant: the last few paragraphs of the book never fail to make my eyes water up whenever I read them:

“Gradually, the great final battle subsided. Arthritis had wracked his body, but in early April the pain oddly diminished. He slept more, and deeply, but then his liver failed, his kidney function slowed, and his tired, enlarged heart no longer responded to the modern device he had at first worn so proudly.

On the night of April 28/29, the doctor was called, and by early morning the family had gathered quietly. ‘I retire when I die,’ Hitchcock had said not long before. ‘One never knows the ending. One has to die to know exactly what happens after death, although Catholics have their hopes.’

The end came at 9:17 on the morning of April 29, 1980, without suspense, without violence. The terror, after all, had been met for years in his dreams and in his art. It was, as so often, a quiet, scarcely discernible moment, as if he had glimpsed the cloudless horizon that was always his image of serenity — as if his earlier, almost forgotten hopes had finally come back to gather round and had not, at the last, left him alone in the darkness.”

Hitchcock Films That I’ve Seen

The Lodger (1927)

The 39 Steps (1935)

Sabotage (1936)

Saboteur (1941)

Shadow of a Doubt (1943) my favorite: it was also one of Hitch’s favorites as well

Spellbound (1945)

Notorious (1946)

Rope (1948)

Stage Fright (1950)

Strangers on a Train (1951)

I Confess (1953)

Dial “M” for Murder (1954)

Rear Window (1954)

To Catch a Thief (1955)

The Trouble with Harry (1955)

Vertigo (1958)

Psycho (1960)

The Birds (1963)

Marnie (1964)

Frenzy (1972)


As an appendix to all this, I would also like to post here a short story that I wrote a couple of years ago, that revolved around a fantasized depiction of Alfred Hitchcock shooting a scene for his film Frenzy (and which I originally wrote for the Neo-Decadent Cookbook, but never formally submitted for whatever reason):

The Murder Mystery

 

“How would you choose to be murdered? Well, there are many nice ways.

Eating is a good one.”

—Alfred Hitchcock

 

                EXT. THAMES RIVER — DAY

 

                TITLE CARD: LONDON, AUGUST 2, 1971 (MONDAY)

 

T

HE SCENE IS a summery morning in London. Beams of sunlight make the windows of the nearby Modernist buildings gleam like the blades of enormous scissors poised over the chest of some chillily attractive blonde matron, and the mischievous bubbling of the Thames gives one the impression that the water is teeming with lascivious undines giggling at some private dirty joke. A crowd is assembled on the banks of the river near London County Hall. A film is being shot this day: the opening scene of Frenzy[1], Alfred Hitchcock’s 52nd film, and his first to be filmed in Jolly Old England in many a year. Like most Hollywood films, this movie is not being shot in a linear fashion; although they would be shooting the opening scene this morning, in fact the film’s production had begun a week ago, on July 26.

The Artist of Anxiety himself is seated on a sturdy folding chair off to the side like a Urizenic Budai, his face stern as Jove as he watches the preparations for the day’s filming begin to get underway. Seated next to him is the bespectacled and heavily side-burned writer and philosopher Colin Wilson, who is serving as a technical consultant for this picture, and every now and then he leans over to Hitchcock and the two men engage in some light banter on the subject of necrophilia (which is one of Hitch’s favorite topics of all), though at one point in their discourse the macabre lilt of the conversation switches over to a discussion on serial killers, in particular John Haigh, the so-called “Acid Bath Murderer,” and his disturbing dreams of blood[2]. A portable record player has been set up nearby, and Hitchcock is listening to the 3rd Velvet Underground album, the track currently playing being “The Murder Mystery.” For obvious reasons he likes the song title but the actual music and lyrics (like so much modern pop and rock & roll) makes no sense to him, and something about the implied chaos suggested by the song offends his sensibilities, in much the same way that the sensibilities of the populace of North Wales were offended by the Sapphic antics of the Ladies of Llangollen[3] in Plas Newydd in the 18th century (though he did find himself fascinated by the subject of transvestism as brought up in the opening track, “Candy Says”[4]): to distract himself from the chaotic so-called “music,” he begins whistling Gounod’s “Funeral March of a Marionette” (which he first heard on the set of Munrau’s Sunrise in 1927). From his vantage point he observes the actors (many of whom are discussing a recent episode of Monty Python’s Flying Circus) get in their assigned places, watches as the crew members bustle about their tasks like Mod Myrmidons (all of his key male associates, he’s pleased to note, are properly dressed in coat and tie, no matter their age). Under the keen eye of Director of Photography Gil Taylor, cameras are being aimed at the actors like guns pointed at political hostages, while boom microphones tower overhead like Cubist giraffes. Everything seems to be running in a glabrous manner . . .  under a Lacerated Sky, a machine of flesh and blood fornicates in a Crystal Trench. Even the seagulls seem Spellbound by the spectacle.

Yet Hitchcock’s mind is elsewhere. Most people would agree that the idea of a man directing two films at the same time would be an impossible act. And yet, that’s exactly what Alfred Hitchcock is doing in London on this morning of August 2, 1971. Of course, as far as Hitchcock is concerned, the motion picture he is currently filming had already been completed months ago, long before the cameras had even started rolling. In his opinion, all his films were made in that little office in his bungalow on the lot of Universal Studios, a collaborative act between him and the screenwriter that saw them putting the whole thing down on paper. Therefore the creative part is over, and the actual filming is just a tedious obligation, a going through the motions. Now it was all in the hands of the actors, who naturally will try their hardest to bungle it up. Actors! How he loathes the sight of them! The cattle! //Thinking about cattle makes him think of cows, which makes him think of dairy farms, which makes him think of Grace Kelly, naked, her wrists bound and her body arranged in a submissive hogtied position, which makes him think of himself straddling her from behind, squeezing her tits cruelly and forcing them to secrete milk into rusty pails arranged beneath her bosom// He is reminded of an interview he had done with L’Express a few years back, around the time of the Torn Curtain debacle, where he had put forth his notion (not for the first time) that his films were 99% finished when the screenplay was complete, and how he dreamt of an IBM machine where one could insert a screenplay into the machine and watch as the film emerged complete from the other end.

At the moment his mind is crowded with black thoughts, like the armies of apocalypse ravens in his film The Birds. Many of his trusted collaborators from the past are long gone: James Stewart was too old to be a convincing leading man in his films any longer, Cary Grant had retired from acting, Ingrid Bergman had ditched him for Rossellini (whereas Grace Kelly had ditched him for Rainier III, the Prince of Monaco) . . . he has even lost Robert Burks (his old Director of Photography), George Tomasini (his chief Editor), and Bernard Herrmann, who had let him down by not gifting him with a much-needed “pop” soundtrack for Torn Curtain. His 72nd birthday was fast approaching and his health wasn’t getting any better (the same could be said for his wife, Alma, who had recently suffered a small stroke), and in recent days his normally bland dreams had become grim nightmares, surrealistic phantasmagorias where giant eyeballs gazed unblinkingly at him from some vast starless void, and where doors opened endlessly onto infinitely repeating hallways bathed in green light (which makes him recall a play he first saw in 1905, at the age of 6,  in which the villain accompanied the stage while bathed in green light, to orchestral music of a sinister nature. “I remember the green light – green for the appearances of ghosts and villains”). It annoyed him that he had failed to convince Nabokov to adapt the book currently being filmed into a screenplay. While initially happy to be back in London after so many years away he found the modernization of the city appalling, and the less said about the psychedelic nature of modern pubs the better; even Covent Garden had changed greatly from his memories of it as a child.

Better to reflect on happier memories: reading Victorian Christmas crawlers in his youth, his childhood obsession with the timetables for boats and trains, Confession with Father Newdigate at St. Ignatius College, his juvenile trips to the Black Museum at Scotland Yard (where he had seen amongst its collections shoes that had belonged to prostitutes slain by Jack the Ripper), his discovery of the work of Poe at the age of 16, designing ads for the Henley Telegraph and Cable Company, attending murder trials at the Old Bailey Court, his past collaboration with Salvador Dali, the $15 million dollars that Psycho made at the box office, his annual wedding anniversary holidays with Alma at the Palace Hotel at Saint Moritz in Switzerland (where he would watch his family ski from the comfort of his room while he sipped a warm glass of Apfelwein), that visit to the Vice Museum in Paris where he had fingered the guillotoine blade that had beheaded Marie Antoinette, watching his daughter ski at Gabriel Valley, vanilla ice cream covered in Hine brandy, smashing tea cups after breakfast (a daily ritual), that time in 1956 when he pretended to strangle the actress Mary Scott on the set of Mr. Blanchard’s Secret, dinner at Anne Baxter’s house in Los Angeles in August 1959 (digesting dinner peacefully while stroking the head of her pet poodle Petunia), the note of gushing praise that David O. Selznick had sent him following the release of Rear Window, Rodin’s The Kiss, that time in the early 1940s when, on a train traveling from Boulogne to Paris, he had seen from his window a boy and a girl standing before a wall near an old factory, and how the boy was urinating on the wall while the girl held his hand, never letting go . . . the inner peace he felt at the sight of a well-organized desk, a cloudless and placid horizon, and, more so than anything else, food[5]. And there were still things to look forward to in the future: like teatime at 4:30, when he could gulp his troubles away (the Master always swallowed food and drink without chewing) with some vodka gimlets, or maybe a 1969 Meursault or a 1964 Chateau Margaux . . .  after all, a good red wine always reminded him of menstrual blood.

In some ways, Hitchcock was a prisoner of his own success, as he freely admitted (and like his hero Poe, he saw himself as a prisoner of the suspense genre). Most modern theatergoers saw him merely as a Suspense Specialist, a Master of the Macabre, suited only to direct spy thrillers and murder stories. Little did they know that, were he to make films to only please himself, the resulting movies would be far different from his usual fare: more realistic and dramatic, with less humor. Of course, the bastards at Universal would never let him get away with it: like most of the other studios the bean-counters just seemed to want pop films with youthful characters, anti-establishment elements, and nudity scenes. While waiting for his crew to finish setting up for the scene, he begins to daydream about one of these more unconventional film ideas of his, which he had first mentioned to François Truffaut at the end of 1967. The film would depict 24 hours in the life of a city, “. . .  a complete cyclic movement.” He can already see the movie in his head (the first scene, for example, would feature a fly crawling on the nose of a tramp lying in a doorway at 5 a.m.), and it is this second imaginary film he is directing in the back of the haunted palace of his mind, on this warm August morning on the banks of the Thames. Unsurprisingly, the film will focus on food: its arrival in the city, how it’s distributed and sold, who buys it, how it’s cooked, the different means by which it is consumed. And he even knows how the film will end: a pessimistic montage of sewers dumping garbage out into the oceans of the world. The theme: what people did to good things, the rottenness of humanity. Murder, by proxy of eating, was as vital to existence as breathing. In a manner of speaking, it was the ultimate whodunit, a mystery that could never be solved: why has God or Evolution conspired to create a world where the daily consumption of flesh and organic matter is necessary for the sustenance of its manifold inhabitants?

The producer notifies Hitch that shooting is ready to begin. Bored, his face mimicking the blank facial stare of madness oft refelected in the premature death mask aesthethic of his body of work, Hitchcock turns off the record player and directs his gaze to the scene below. Stunt woman Roberta Gibbs, portraying a murdered corpse, is floating face down in the Thames, completely naked, a necktie wrapped tightly around her neck, and once her body has drifted onto the polluted Shores of Hell two bobby-hatted constables race over to inspect the corpse. In the apaugasma of the morning sun her bare buttocks resemble two pale Shimizu white peaches. The growling in Hitchcock’s stomach resembles the chthonic church bells of St. Paul’s tolling funereal peals.

 

“Some directors film slices of life, I film slices of cake.”

—Alfred Hitchcock



[1] An adaptation of Arthur La Bern’s somewhat awkwardly titled 1966 novel Goodbye Piccadilly, Farewell Leicester Square.

[2] "I saw before me a forest of crucifixes which gradually turned into trees. At first, there appeared to be dew or rain, dripping from the branches, but as I approached I realized it was blood. The whole forest began to writhe and the trees, dark and erect, to ooze blood. . . A man went from each tree catching the blood . . . When the cup was full, he approached me. 'Drink,' he said, but I was unable to move.” —John Haigh

[3] Eleanor Butler and Sarah Ponsonby

[4] Contrary to what some people might think, Hitchcock was fascinated by homosexuality and was very comfortable around homosexual actors.

[5] “I find contentment from food. It’s a mental process rather than a physical. There is as much anticipation in confronting good food as there is in going on a holiday, or seeing a good show. There are two kinds of eating— eating to sustain and eating for pleasure. I eat for pleasure.”

—Alfred Hitchcock, August 26, 1937

Wednesday, January 31, 2024

2024 Reading List Monthly Update: January

 Books read in January of 2024:

"The Explosion of a Chandelier" (Damian Murphy) 1-7-24
"Empire of the Sun" (J.G. Ballard) 1-11-24
"The Consolation of Philosophy" (Boethius) 1-14-24
"CAW: Colossal Abandoned World" (James Champagne) 1-17-24
"The Green Fly and Other Stories" (Robert Scheffer) 1-19-24
"Godzilla and Godzilla Raids Again" (Shigeru Kayama) 1-22-24
"Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982" (Cho Nam-joo) 1-27-24
"The Planetary Omnibus" (Warren Ellis) 1-28-24
"A Song in the Night" (Daniel Mills) 1-31-24 
-

2024 Reading List Total:

-

1. "The Explosion of a Chandelier" (Damian Murphy) 1-7-24
2. "Empire of the Sun" (J.G. Ballard) 1-11-24
3. "The Consolation of Philosophy" (Boethius) 1-14-24
4. "CAW: Colossal Abandoned World" (James Champagne) 1-17-24
5. "The Green Fly and Other Stories" (Robert Scheffer) 1-19-24
6. "Godzilla and Godzilla Raids Again" (Shigeru Kayama) 1-22-24
7. "Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982" (Cho Nam-joo) 1-27-24
8. "The Planetary Omnibus" (Warren Ellis) 1-28-24
9. "A Song in the Night" (Daniel Mills) 1-31-24 

*= book I have read at least once in the past

+= book I have read before, but not this reprint/edition/translation

Currently Reading: 

"Alexandria: The City That Changed The World" (Islam Issa) 

Saturday, December 30, 2023

2023 Reading List Monthly Update: December (Finale)

Books read in November of 2023:

"Femina: A New History of the Middle Ages, Through the Women Written Out of It" (Janina Ramirez) 12-2-23
"The Gate of Ivory" (Bernard Lazare) 12-12-23
"Medieval Music" (Richard H. Hoppin) 12-23-23
"Spookley and the Christmas Kittens" (Joe Troiano) 12-24-23
"Lady Gaga: A Little Golden Book Biography" (Michael Joosten/Illustrated by Laura Catrinela) 12-29-23
"Thousand Cranes" (Yasunari Kawabata) 12-30-23
-

2023 Reading List Total:

-

1. "The Medieval Underworld" (Andrew McCall) 1-11-23
2. "Impure Thoughts" (Golnoosh Nour) 1-12-23
3. "Byzantium: The Surprising Life of a Medieval Empire" (Judith Herrin) 1-15-23
4. "The Baron's Coffin and Other Disquieting Tales" (Ada Buisson) 1-17-23
5. "Amy Winehouse: Beyond Black" (Naomi Parry + Various) 1-21-23
6. "Convenience Store Woman" (Sayaka Murata) 1-25-23
7. "Do You Like Big Girls? Vol. 1" (Goro Aizome) 1-27-23
8. "Strange Weather in Tokyo" (Hiromi Kawakami) 1-31-23
9. "The Shards" (Bret Easton Ellis) 2-4-23
10. "Lie With Me" (Philippe Besson) 2-7-23
11. "The Lover" (Marguerite Duras) 2-9-23
12. "Tokyo Ueno Station" (Yu Miri) 2-12-23
13. "Boycrush" (James Nulick) 2-16-23
14. "This Side of Paradise" (F. Scott Fitzgerald) 2-17-23
15. "The Adventure Zone Vol. 5: The Eleventh Hour" (The McElroys/Carey Pietsch) 2-19-23
16. "Octopus Pie: The Other Side" (Meredith Gran) 2-22-23
17. "Octopus Pie Eternal" (Meredith Gran) 2-23-22
18. "The Book of Imaginary Beings" (Jorge Luis Borges) 2-25-23 
19. "Leonora Carrington: Surrealism, Alchemy and Art" (Susan L. Aberth) 3-4-23
20. "Pictures of Apocalypse" (Thomas Ligotti) 3-11-23
21. "Vermilion Sands" (J.G. Ballard) 3-17-23
22. "Berserk Deluxe Edition 13" (Kentaro Miura) 3-23-23
23. "Tombs" (Junji Ito) 3-30-23
24. "The Flowers of Buffoonery" (Osamu Dazai) 4-4-23
25. "A History of the Middle Ages" (Joseph Dahmus) 4-5-23
26. "Winter in Sokcho" (Elisa Shua Dusapin) 4-7-23
27. "The Guest Cat" (Takashi Hiraide) 4-13-23
28. "The Great Empires of the Ancient World" (Various/Edited by Thomas Harrison) 4-16-23
29. "The Turkish Lady and Other Writings" (Jean Lorrain) 4-17-23
30. "Raun" (Ruggero Vasari) 4-20-23
31. "I Will Not Come" (Arnaud Rykner) 4-22-23
32. "The Secrets of Cabalism" (Ana Jane Vardill) 4-26-23
33. "Tournaments: Jousts, Chivalry and Pageants in the Middle Ages" (Richard Barber & Juliet Barker) 4-29-23
34. "Neo-Decadence Evangelion" (Various/Edited by Justin Isis) 5-6-23
35. "The Illustrated Encyclopedia of the Kings & Queens of Britain" (Charles Phillips) 5-18-23
36. "The Black Death" (Philip Ziegler) 5-18-23
37. "Cats in Spring Rain: A Celebration of Feline Charm in Japanese Art and Haiku" (Various) 5-19-23
38. "Are You All Crazy?" (René Crevel) 5-26-23
39. "The Others Lived As Me" (Ange Dargent) 5-28-23
40. "Lord of the World" (Robert Hugh Benson) 5-30-23
41. "Your Dreams" (Thomas Moore) 5-30-23
42. "Antichrist in the Middle Ages: A Study of Medieval Apocalypticism, Art, and Literature" (Richard Kenneth Emmerson) 6-7-23
43. "Sabbat" (Hélène Picard) 6-17-23
44. "Fish Turn Colors Then Break in my Hands" (Colby Smith + Josh Bayer) 6-21-23
45. "The Best of Trim" (Aaron Lange) 6-21-23
46. "The Rise and Fall of Alexandria: Birthplace of the Modern Mind" (Justin Pollard & Howard Reid) 6-21-23
47. "Spells" (Brendan Connell) 6-25-23
48. "The Blood of the Gods" (Jean Lorrain) 6-28-23
49. "Venomous Feathers Split #1: Dive Careful Down/Stupendemys" (Fergus Nm + Churchdoor Lounger) 6-30-23
50. "Paradise Lost" (John Milton/Illustrated by William Blake) 7-3-23
51. "The Pachinko Parlor" (Elisa Shua Dusapin) 7-11-23
52. "De Profundis" (Oscar Wilde) 7-15-23
53. "Soichi" (Junji Ito) 7-19-23
54. "Hit Parade of Tears" (Izumi Suzuki) 7-22-23
55. "The Higher Genius: Magical Tales of New York City" (Kyler James) 7-23-23
56. "Beautiful Star" (Yukio Mishima) 8-3-23
57. "Doom Guy: Life in First Person" (John Romero) 8-13-23
58. "Medieval Bodies: Life, Death and Art in the Middle Ages" (Jack Hartnell) 8-23-23
59. "The World of the Crusades: An Illustrated History" (Christopher Tyerman) 8-24-23
60. "The Collected Poems of Dylan Thomas- Original Edition" (Dylan Thomas) 8-29-23
61. "Sea Monsters on Medieval and Renaissance Maps" (Chet Van Duzer) 8-30-23
62. "Wuthering Heights" (Emily Brontë) 9-17-23
63. "Zothique: The Final Cycle" (Clark Ashton Smith)  9-19-23
64. "A Shameful Life" (Osamu Dazai) 9-25-23 +
65. "Parade" (Hiromi Kawakami) 9-25-23
66. "Goth: A History" (Lol Tolhurst) 10-7-23
67. "Japanese Tales of Mystery and Imagination" (Edogawa Rampo) 10-9-23
68. "The Dark Secret of Weatherend" (John Bellairs) 10-12-23 *
69. "Concrete Siberia: Soviet Landscapes of the Far North" (Zupagrafika) 10-13-23
70. "Monica" (Daniel Clowes) 10-15-23
71. "Stone Age: Ancient Castles of Europe" (Frédéric Chaubin) 10-19-23
72. "The Mysteries" (Bill Watterson & John Kascht) 10-22-23
73. "Mimi's Tales of Terror" (Junji Ito) 10-24-23
74. "The Grand Medieval Bestiary: Animals in Illuminated Manuscripts" (Christian Heck & Rémy Cordonnier) 10-28-23
75. "Ain't It Fun: Peter Laughner & Proto-Punk in the Secret City" (Aaron Lange) 11-6-23
76. "The Reflection of Stars" (Tom Champagne) 11-10-23
77. "The Light Ages: The Surprising Story of Medieval Science" (Seb Falk) 11-11-23 
78. "Weird Medieval Guys" (Olivia M. Swarthout) 11-15-23
79. "Chivalry and Courtesy: Medieval Manners for a Modern World" (Danièle Cybulskie) 11-18-23
80. "Berserk Deluxe 14" (Kentaro Miura) 11-30-23
81. "Femina: A New History of the Middle Ages, Through the Women Written Out of It" (Janina Ramirez) 12-2-23
82. "The Gate of Ivory" (Bernard Lazare) 12-12-23
83. "Medieval Music" (Richard H. Hoppin) 12-23-23
84. "Spookley and the Christmas Kittens" (Joe Troiano) 12-24-23
85. "Lady Gaga: A Little Golden Book Biography" (Michael Joosten/Illustrated by Laura Catrinela) 12-29-23
86. "Thousand Cranes" (Yasunari Kawabata) 12-30-23

*= book I have read at least once in the past

+= book I have read before, but not this reprint/edition/translation

Currently Reading: 

Sunday, December 10, 2023

Amber: Death Anniversary

Today marks the one year anniversary of the death of my beloved and much-missed cat Amber. I don’t plan on talking about this at great length every year, but as this is the first year anniversary, I feel like I should at least say a few things that have been on my mind for awhile now and would like to get off my chest, and I’ll try not to rehash too many details I covered last year. 

I suppose it’s human nature to second guess one’s choices, when looking back at things in retrospect. In hindsight, I will say now that I wish I hadn’t gone to work that day, that I had spent more of the last day by Amber’s side (of course, at the time, I had no way of knowing it would be the last day). It’s something that I know is silly to feel guilty about, as when she was alive no one spent more time with her than I did, but sometimes guilt transcends logic. And it wasn’t even as if I was gone all that long: I left at 4 PM, got to work around 5, got the call to come back home sometime after 6:30, made it back home by 7:10, was with her the last ten minutes before she died (really, it almost seemed as if she were holding off her own death while waiting for me to arrive). In the days afterwards, I would sometimes get panic attacks thinking about all the things that could have gone wrong that night... what if I had been stopped by a cop, or I had hit traffic, or my car had broken down? I know it’s silly to freak out about bad things that DIDN’T happen, but no one said the human mind is always rational. 

One thing about that night that I remember is that when I got home my mom asked me if I wanted to have Amber put in my lap (at the time, she was in my mom’s lap). I said no, partly because she looked so fragile that I was afraid to move her, and also because I wasn’t sure if I were comfortable with the idea of her dying in my own lap. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice, and I’ve gone back and forth over this quite a bit. Amber spent so much of her life in my lap, that perhaps it would have been fitting for her to die on it. But after awhile I came to look at it from a different angle. It was my mother who made the choice to adopt Amber all those years ago. She was ultimately the person who brought Amber into our lives. So was it not proper symmetry that Amber died on her lap, at the end? What matters to me at least was that I WAS there for it, and though in all honesty Amber may have been too out of it to even be aware of that fact, perhaps on some level my very presence there and the sound of my voice registered with her and gave her some solace: or that after her death, when perhaps her soul exited her body, she saw me there, and knew that I hadn’t abandoned her in her last moments.

But maybe it’s pointless to self-torture the mind with questions that can’t be answered (in the mortal realm, that is). As I wrote last year, “So at least I got to say I was by her side when she died, that I got to see her breathe her last breath, that I was the first to notice she had died, and that she died at home, surrounded by her loved ones, in a warm place. So yes, my prayers were answered: it was indeed a good death, or as good as such a sad thing can possibly be.” And I still feel that way.

I won’t lie: she could often be ill-tempered, quick to anger, needy, a witch, a diva, and at times totally lived up to one of her nicknames (that I forgot to mention in my list of nicknames last year): Crabapple. She was also a beautiful cat with a complicated personality and a lot of attitude and I loved her with all my heart... and as demanding she could be at times, whenever she would curl up onto my lap and gaze up at me with a look of adoration and contentment in her face, all her foibles were forgotten. Even though she remains a part of me, and even though every now and then I’ll see her fleetingly in my dreams, I still miss her terribly. When she died, a little piece of me died as well.

“Grief is the price we pay for love.”

—Queen Elizabeth II



Friday, December 8, 2023

Requiescat in pace Mark Samuels

Very saddened to hear that a fellow writer friend of mine, the British horror writer Mark Samuels (known to some of his friends as "Markitty") passed away peacefully in his sleep a few days ago at the age of 56, apparently from a heart attack. I first met him at the Thomas Ligotti Online forums back in 2014 (a few months after I read his THE MAN WHO COLLECTED MACHEN collection, which was also the first book of his I ever read), and we had some very interesting and thought-provoking conversations on there over the years, not just about horror literature (like me, he was a big fan of writers like Lovecraft, Machen, and Ligotti, along with French Decadent types like Huysmans) but also politics and theological matters; he was a devout Catholic and I'm a lapsed Catholic so obviously on some level we recognized kindred spirits in each other... that and the fact that neither of us was above stirring up shit.

In an era where the horror genre is flooded with utter mediocrities and unctuous careerist networkers, he stood out, both in his personality and his work, and I would certainly put him on the same level as a Ligotti or (to cite some of his fellow British horror writers) Ramsey Campbell and Reggie Oliver. What always impressed me about his stories was how he often did a lot with an economy of words: so many horror writers can get lost building up atmosphere, atmosphere, atmosphere, but his best work had an almost Borges-like succinctness to them and they didn't wear out their welcome, and I never could figure out how he made it look so easy. But as good as his horror novels and short story collections are (and I recommend them highly), I'd also like to mention here his non-horror religious novel A PILGRIM STRANGER, which I feel is sadly overlooked: the ending to it moved me like few other books have ever done.
I'm aware that he was something of a controversial figure on the horror scene, whether because of his sometimes cantankerous personality, his political views (which at times veered into the right-wing/reactionary territory), his tendency to hold a grudge, and his almost Bloy-like tendency to sometimes turn on the people who helped or supported him. Oddly enough, in all the years I knew him, the two of us never had a falling out or even an argument. I myself burned a lot of bridges on the scene defending him back in 2017 (when it was especially fashionable for people to attack him online), but I didn't care because ultimately I felt that, for all his flaws, deep down he had a kind of Old World integrity whereas many of his critics (in my opinion at least) had none.
I know these last few years had been pretty rough for him: he was homeless for a brief spell around 2017 (which partly explained my vehemence for his critics at that time: I don't like to see a man who is down on his luck getting kicked around and spat on, even if the people who were doing it were total nothingburgers), and had numerous health issues (including a bout with ulcers that saw him hospitalized). But despite these setbacks he still kept working at his craft and posting material regularly to his followers on Patreon (to say nothing of getting books published, through presses such as Zagava or the now sadly defunct Chomu Press). I tried to help him out as much as I could, either through subscribing to his aforementioned Patreon account, buying/reading/reviewing his books, and I also contributed a story to the MARKED TO DIE anthology edited by Justin Isis and published by Snuggly Books a few years ago. I think Mark appreciated all this, as he tried to help me out in small ways also: he was kind enough to post a review of one of my novels on Goodreads (one of my only friends to do so, actually), and I was one of the 7 people he signaled out for thanks at the start of his PROPHECIES AND DOOMS essay collection, which made me very happy. He also invited me to contribute a story to an anthology he was editing that was dedicated to Leonid Andreyev: though he liked my story and accepted it, sadly the project as a whole never gained traction and was abandoned... but I'm thankful that at the very least, he got me into Andreyev.
Sadly over the last few years I haven't been in touch with him as often as I should have been... I'm great at returning messages on social media but lousy reaching out to people via e-mail. The last time we interacted was back in June of this year, after I posted a review of Robert Hugh Benson's novel LORD OF THE WORLD on Goodreads: he commented that he had never read the book before (despite wanting to for awhile) and that my review had finally given him the motivation to check it out himself. Recently I was planning on e-mailing him to wish him a Merry Christmas, catch up on old times, and ask him if he ever got around to reading that Benson novel... but now that can't happen, sadly. Requiescat in pace Markitty, you will be missed, but your work will live on...
“The more we are afflicted in this world, the greater is our assurance in the next; the more sorrow in the present, the greater will be our joy in the future.” – St. Isidore of Seville








Thursday, November 30, 2023

2023 Reading List Monthly Update: November

  Books read in November of 2023:

"Ain't It Fun: Peter Laughner & Proto-Punk in the Secret City" (Aaron Lange) 11-6-23
"The Reflection of Stars" (Tom Champagne) 11-10-23
"The Light Ages: The Surprising Story of Medieval Science" (Seb Falk) 11-11-23 
"Weird Medieval Guys" (Olivia M. Swarthout) 11-15-23
"Chivalry and Courtesy: Medieval Manners for a Modern World" (Danièle Cybulskie) 11-18-23
"Berserk Deluxe 14" (Kentaro Miura) 11-30-23
-

2023 Reading List Total:

-

1. "The Medieval Underworld" (Andrew McCall) 1-11-23
2. "Impure Thoughts" (Golnoosh Nour) 1-12-23
3. "Byzantium: The Surprising Life of a Medieval Empire" (Judith Herrin) 1-15-23
4. "The Baron's Coffin and Other Disquieting Tales" (Ada Buisson) 1-17-23
5. "Amy Winehouse: Beyond Black" (Naomi Parry + Various) 1-21-23
6. "Convenience Store Woman" (Sayaka Murata) 1-25-23
7. "Do You Like Big Girls? Vol. 1" (Goro Aizome) 1-27-23
8. "Strange Weather in Tokyo" (Hiromi Kawakami) 1-31-23
9. "The Shards" (Bret Easton Ellis) 2-4-23
10. "Lie With Me" (Philippe Besson) 2-7-23
11. "The Lover" (Marguerite Duras) 2-9-23
12. "Tokyo Ueno Station" (Yu Miri) 2-12-23
13. "Boycrush" (James Nulick) 2-16-23
14. "This Side of Paradise" (F. Scott Fitzgerald) 2-17-23
15. "The Adventure Zone Vol. 5: The Eleventh Hour" (The McElroys/Carey Pietsch) 2-19-23
16. "Octopus Pie: The Other Side" (Meredith Gran) 2-22-23
17. "Octopus Pie Eternal" (Meredith Gran) 2-23-22
18. "The Book of Imaginary Beings" (Jorge Luis Borges) 2-25-23 
19. "Leonora Carrington: Surrealism, Alchemy and Art" (Susan L. Aberth) 3-4-23
20. "Pictures of Apocalypse" (Thomas Ligotti) 3-11-23
21. "Vermilion Sands" (J.G. Ballard) 3-17-23
22. "Berserk Deluxe Edition 13" (Kentaro Miura) 3-23-23
23. "Tombs" (Junji Ito) 3-30-23
24. "The Flowers of Buffoonery" (Osamu Dazai) 4-4-23
25. "A History of the Middle Ages" (Joseph Dahmus) 4-5-23
26. "Winter in Sokcho" (Elisa Shua Dusapin) 4-7-23
27. "The Guest Cat" (Takashi Hiraide) 4-13-23
28. "The Great Empires of the Ancient World" (Various/Edited by Thomas Harrison) 4-16-23
29. "The Turkish Lady and Other Writings" (Jean Lorrain) 4-17-23
30. "Raun" (Ruggero Vasari) 4-20-23
31. "I Will Not Come" (Arnaud Rykner) 4-22-23
32. "The Secrets of Cabalism" (Ana Jane Vardill) 4-26-23
33. "Tournaments: Jousts, Chivalry and Pageants in the Middle Ages" (Richard Barber & Juliet Barker) 4-29-23
34. "Neo-Decadence Evangelion" (Various/Edited by Justin Isis) 5-6-23
35. "The Illustrated Encyclopedia of the Kings & Queens of Britain" (Charles Phillips) 5-18-23
36. "The Black Death" (Philip Ziegler) 5-18-23
37. "Cats in Spring Rain: A Celebration of Feline Charm in Japanese Art and Haiku" (Various) 5-19-23
38. "Are You All Crazy?" (René Crevel) 5-26-23
39. "The Others Lived As Me" (Ange Dargent) 5-28-23
40. "Lord of the World" (Robert Hugh Benson) 5-30-23
41. "Your Dreams" (Thomas Moore) 5-30-23
42. "Antichrist in the Middle Ages: A Study of Medieval Apocalypticism, Art, and Literature" (Richard Kenneth Emmerson) 6-7-23
43. "Sabbat" (Hélène Picard) 6-17-23
44. "Fish Turn Colors Then Break in my Hands" (Colby Smith + Josh Bayer) 6-21-23
45. "The Best of Trim" (Aaron Lange) 6-21-23
46. "The Rise and Fall of Alexandria: Birthplace of the Modern Mind" (Justin Pollard & Howard Reid) 6-21-23
47. "Spells" (Brendan Connell) 6-25-23
48. "The Blood of the Gods" (Jean Lorrain) 6-28-23
49. "Venomous Feathers Split #1: Dive Careful Down/Stupendemys" (Fergus Nm + Churchdoor Lounger) 6-30-23
50. "Paradise Lost" (John Milton/Illustrated by William Blake) 7-3-23
51. "The Pachinko Parlor" (Elisa Shua Dusapin) 7-11-23
52. "De Profundis" (Oscar Wilde) 7-15-23
53. "Soichi" (Junji Ito) 7-19-23
54. "Hit Parade of Tears" (Izumi Suzuki) 7-22-23
55. "The Higher Genius: Magical Tales of New York City" (Kyler James) 7-23-23
56. "Beautiful Star" (Yukio Mishima) 8-3-23
57. "Doom Guy: Life in First Person" (John Romero) 8-13-23
58. "Medieval Bodies: Life, Death and Art in the Middle Ages" (Jack Hartnell) 8-23-23
59. "The World of the Crusades: An Illustrated History" (Christopher Tyerman) 8-24-23
60. "The Collected Poems of Dylan Thomas- Original Edition" (Dylan Thomas) 8-29-23
61. "Sea Monsters on Medieval and Renaissance Maps" (Chet Van Duzer) 8-30-23
62. "Wuthering Heights" (Emily Brontë) 9-17-23
63. "Zothique: The Final Cycle" (Clark Ashton Smith)  9-19-23
64. "A Shameful Life" (Osamu Dazai) 9-25-23 +
65. "Parade" (Hiromi Kawakami) 9-25-23
66. "Goth: A History" (Lol Tolhurst) 10-7-23
67. "Japanese Tales of Mystery and Imagination" (Edogawa Rampo) 10-9-23
68. "The Dark Secret of Weatherend" (John Bellairs) 10-12-23 *
69. "Concrete Siberia: Soviet Landscapes of the Far North" (Zupagrafika) 10-13-23
70. "Monica" (Daniel Clowes) 10-15-23
71. "Stone Age: Ancient Castles of Europe" (Frédéric Chaubin) 10-19-23
72. "The Mysteries" (Bill Watterson & John Kascht) 10-22-23
73. "Mimi's Tales of Terror" (Junji Ito) 10-24-23
74. "The Grand Medieval Bestiary: Animals in Illuminated Manuscripts" (Christian Heck & Rémy Cordonnier) 10-28-23
75. "Ain't It Fun: Peter Laughner & Proto-Punk in the Secret City" (Aaron Lange) 11-6-23
76. "The Reflection of Stars" (Tom Champagne) 11-10-23
77. "The Light Ages: The Surprising Story of Medieval Science" (Seb Falk) 11-11-23 
78. "Weird Medieval Guys" (Olivia M. Swarthout) 11-15-23
79. "Chivalry and Courtesy: Medieval Manners for a Modern World" (Danièle Cybulskie) 11-18-23
80. "Berserk Deluxe 14" (Kentaro Miura) 11-30-23

*= book I have read at least once in the past
+= book I have read before, but not this reprint/edition/translation

Currently Reading: 

"Femina: A New History of the Middle Ages, Through the Women Written Out of It" (Janina Ramirez) 

Tuesday, November 14, 2023

Some Books I Read Pre-2008

Most of my friends are aware that in the year 2008 (my 28th year) I began keeping lists of all the books I read each year, a tradition I've kept going for around 16 years now. Recently, I thought it might be interesting to make a list of the books I had read pre-2008. For most such books I still remember the year (or approximate year) that I first read them, and going through some of my old receipts recently jogged my memory in some places. Still, this list is hardly complete, and the order of the books for each year isn’t entirely chronological in places, but gives one a good idea of what books I was reading for the years in question. For the most part, I chose to mainly list adult books only (had I listed the children's books I read, it would have been much longer), though a few children's books are listed in any case, mainly ones that had a big impact on me and my life. 


? indicates a book where I’m not sure if the year is quite exact. % means it was a book read as a school assignment.

 

Pre-High School

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass (Lewis Carroll) 1986

James and the Giant Peach (Roald Dahl) 1988? 1989?

Great Illustrated Classics: Tales of Mystery & Terror (Edgar Allan Poe/Adapted by Marjorie P. Katz) 1988? 1989?

The War of the Worlds (H.G. Wells) 1988? 1989?

Many John Bellairs books (starting with The Spell of the Sorcerer's Skull) late 80s/early 90s

Ghostbusters 2: Movie Novelization (Ed Naha) 1989

Dick Tracy: Movie Novelization (Max Allan Collins) 1990

Gremlins 2: The New Batch: Movie Novelization (David Bischoff) 1990

Misery (Stephen King) 1991

The Chronicles of Narnia (C.S. Lewis) 1991

The Rocketeer: Movie Novelization (Peter David) 1991

Hook: Movie Novelization (Terry Brooks) 1991

Carrie (Stephen King) ? early 90s

Jurassic Park (Michael Crichton) 1992

Sphere (Michael Crichton) 1992?

Eaters of the Dead (Michael Crichton) ?

Batman Returns: Movie Novelization (Craig Shaw Gardner) 1992

Aliens: Earth Hive (Steve Perry) 1993?

Aliens: Nightmare Asylum (Steve Perry) 1993?

The Guns of Navarone (Alistair MacLean) 1993?

Goodbye California (Alistair MacLean) 1993? 1994?

The Sword in the Stone (T.H. White) 

Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)

Animal Farm (George Orwell)

The Pearl (John Steinbeck) 1993? %

The Mad Hatter Mystery (John Dickson Carr) 1993?

Batman: The Animated Series: Shadows of the Past (Gary Gravel) 1993

Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (Geary Gravel) 1993

Batman: The Animated Series: Dual to the Death (Geary Gravel) 1994

Batman: The Animated Series: The Dragon and the Bat (Geary Gravel) 1994

SeaQuest DSV: Fire Below (Matthew J. Costello) 1994

 

High School Freshman Year (Fall 1994-Spring 1995) (Age 14)

The Prydain Chronicles Books 1-5 (Lloyd Alexander) 1994?

Calling on Dragons (Patricia C. Wrede) 1994

Star Wars: Heir to the Empire: Book 1 of the Thrawn Trilogy (Timothy Zhan) 1995

Star Wars: Dark Force Rising: Book 2 of the Thrawn Trilogy (Timothy Zhan) 1995

Star Wars: The Last Command: Book 3 of the Thrawn Trilogy (Timothy Zhan) 1995

Star Wars: The Courtship of Princess Leia (Dave Wolverton) 1995

Star Wars: The Truce at Bakura (Kathy Tyers) 1995

Star Wars: The Crystal Star (Vonda N. McIntyre) 1995

Batman: Knightfall (Dennis O’Neill) 1995

 

Summer 1995 (Age 15)

The Remarkable Journey of Prince Jen (Lloyd Alexander)


High School Sophomore Year (Fall 1995-Spring 1996) (Age 15)

Of Mice and Men (John Steinbeck) autumn 1995 %

Romeo & Juliet (William Shakespeare) autumn 1995 %

The Taming of the Shrew (William Shakespeare) autumn 1995 %

Star Wars: Jedi Search: Book 1 of the Jedi Academy Trilogy (Kevin J. Anderson) 1995

Star Wars: Dark Apprentice: Book 2 of the Jedi Academy Trilogy (Kevin J. Anderson) 1995

Star Wars: Champions of the Force: Book 3 of the Jedi Academy Trilogy (Kevin J. Anderson) 1995

The White Plague (Frank Herbert) 1995? 1996?

Goldeneye (John Gardner) late 1995?

Star Wars: Darksaber (Kevin J. Anderson) December 1995

Patriot Games (Tom Clancy) January 1996

The Old Man and the Sea (Ernest Hemingway) 1996 %

A Tale of Two Cities (Charles Dickens) 1996 %

Without Remorse (Tom Clancy) 1996

Debt of Honor (Tom Clancy) 1996

 

Summer 1996 (Age 16)

Executive Orders (Tom Clancy) July 1996

 

High School Junior Year (Fall 1996-Spring 1997) (Age 16)

Ethan Frome (Edith Wharton) %

Macbeth (William Shakespeare) %

Julius Caesar (William Shakespeare) %

The Crucible (Arthur Miller) %

Death of a Salesman (Arthur Miller) %

The Apocalypse Watch (Robert Ludlum)

The Scorpio Illusion (Robert Ludlum)

The Road to Gandalfo (Robert Ludlum)

The Cry of the Halidon (Robert Ludlum)

Airframe (Michael Crichton) December 1996

The Runaway Jury (John Grisham) 1997

The Dilbert Principle (Scott Adams) May 1997 (bought with first ever paycheck)

 

Summer 1997 (Age 17)

The Partner (John Grisham) June

The Pelican Brief (John Grisham) June

The Rainmaker (John Grisham) June

Interview with the Vampire (Anne Rice) June

Pulp Fiction: Screenplay (Quentin Tarantino) June

Lord Foul’s Bane (Stephen R. Donaldson) July

The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck) August %

Servant of the Bones (Anne Rice) Summer?

 

High School Senior Year (Fall 1997-Spring 1998) (Age 17)

Hamlet (William Shakespeare) 1997? %

Othello (William Shakespeare) 1997? %

The Lord of the Flies (William Golding) 1997? %

The Chamber (John Grisham) Fall 1997

Violin (Anne Rice) October 1997

Out of Sight (Elmore Leonard) 1997

Jackie Brown/Rum Punch (Elmore Leonard) December 1997

The Street Lawyer (John Grisham) January 1998

All Quiet on the Western Front (Erich Maria Remarque) January 1998 %

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (Tennessee Williams) February 1998? %

The Glass Menagerie (Tennessee Williams) March 1998 %

Brave New World (Aldous Huxley) %

The Witching Hour (Anne Rice) ?

Riding the Rap (Elmore Leonard) Spring 1998

Maximum Bob (Elmore Leonard) Spring 1998

Get Shorty (Elmore Leonard) June 1998

 

Summer 1998 (Age 18)

The SCUM Manifesto (Valerie Solanas)

 

Fall 1998 (Age 18)

The Glass Key (Dashiell Hammett)

Red Harvest (Dashiell Hammett)

Oedipus the King (Sophocles) September %

Candide (Voltaire) October %

Les Fleurs du mal (Charles Baudelaire) November %

 

1999 (Age 19)

A Simple Plan (Scott Smith) January

The Testament (John Grisham) February

A Clockwork Orange (Anthony Burgess) February

Feel This Book (Ben Stiller/Janeane Garofalo) February

Naked Lunch (William S. Burroughs) May

Jack & Jill (James Patterson) borrowed from my brother Tom

Red Dragon (Thomas Harris)

The Silence of the Lambs (Thomas Harris)

Hannibal (Thomas Harris) June/July

Mindhunter: Inside the FBI's Elite Serial Crime Unit (John Douglas) September

Lost Souls (Poppy Z. Brite) October

(Various stories by H.P. Lovecraft) Autumn

 

2000 (Age 20)

The Sandman: Volumes 1-10 (Neil Gaiman) January-June

Drawing Blood (Poppy Z. Brite) May

Exquisite Corpse (Poppy Z. Brite) Fall

Are You Loathsome Tonight? (Poppy Z. Brite) November

Plastic Jesus (Poppy Z. Brite)

Fight Club (Chuck Palahniuk)

 

2001 (Age 21)

Survivor (Chuck Palahniuk) July

The Gap into Conflict: The Real Story (Stephen R. Donaldson) autumn/winter

The Gap into Vision: Forbidden Knowledge (Stephen R. Donaldson) autumn/winter

The Gap into Power: A Dark and Hungry God Arises (Stephen R. Donaldson) autumn/winter

The Gap into Madness: Chaos and Order (Stephen R. Donaldson) autumn/winter

The Gap into Ruin: This Day All Gods Die (Stephen R. Donaldson) autumn/winter

 

2002 (Age 22)

Neuromancer (William Gibson) early winter

Interzone (William S. Burroughs) March

Psychic Self-Defense (Dion Fortune) March

Liber Null & Psychonaut (Peter J. Carroll) March

The Soft Machine (William S. Burroughs) April

The Ticket That Exploded (William S. Burroughs) April

Nova Express (William S. Burroughs) April

Liber Kaos (Peter J. Carroll) June

The Invisibles: Volumes 1-3 (Grant Morrison)

Cities of the Red Night (William S. Burroughs) June/July

The Place of Dead Roads (William S. Burroughs) June/July

Count Zero (William Gibson) June

Mona Lisa Overdrive (William Gibson) summer

Valis (Philip K. Dick) summer

The Divine Invasion (Philip K. Dick) summer

Good Omens (Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett)

Moonchild (Aleister Crowley)

The Illuminatus! Trilogy (Robert Shea & Robert Anton Wilson)

The I-Ching

The Lazy Crossdresser (Charles Anders) July

Closer (Dennis Cooper) ?

 

2003 (Age 23)

The Filth (Grant Morrison)

Index (Peter Sotos) May

Lazy (Peter Sotos) May

Tick (Peter Sotos) May

The Value of X (Poppy Z. Brite) 

The Devil You Know (Poppy Z. Brite) July

Watchmen (Alan Moore) July

V for Vendetta (Alan Moore) July

Cosmic Trigger (Robert Anton Wilson) August

Lullaby (Chuck Palahniuk) September

Diary (Chuck Palahniuk) October

The Sandman: Endless Nights (Neil Gaiman) October

Schrodinger’s Cats (Robert Anton Wilson) October

The Lucifer Principle (Howard Bloom) November

Doom Patrol (Grant Morrison) November

Animal Man (Grant Morrison) December

Transmetropolitan (Warren Ellis)

Tim & Peter (James Robert Baker) ?

Anarchy (James Robert Baker) ?

 

2004 (Age 24)

Quantum Psychology (Robert Anton Wilson)

The Sluts (Dennis Cooper)

Nightside of Eden (Kenneth Grant) February/March

American Psycho (Bret Easton Ellis) April

Hecate’s Fountain (Kenneth Grant) May

Liquor (Poppy Z. Brite)

Maldoror (Lautreamont) August

Pere Ubu (Alfred Jarry) August

Cults of the Shadow (Kenneth Grant)

 

2005 (Age 25)

The Fall (Albert Camus) January

Ultra-Gash Inferno (Suehiro Maruo) February?

Prime (Poppy Z. Brite) March

Proxy (Peter Sotos) May

God Jr. (Dennis Cooper) July

Glamorama (Bret Easton Ellis) early summer?

Less Than Zero (Bret Easton Ellis) July

The Rules of Attraction (Bret Easton Ellis) July

The Informers (Bret Easton Ellis) July/August?

Lunar Park (Bret Easton Ellis) August

Outside the Circles of Time (Kenneth Grant) summer

The Gates of Janus: Serial Killing and its Analysis (Ian Brady) August

The Name of the Rose (Umberto Eco) September

All Else is Bondage (Wei Wu Wei)

Proxy (Peter Sotos)

 

2006 (Age 26)

Outer Gateways (Kenneth Grant)

At the Feet of the Guru (Kenneth Grant)

Try (Dennis Cooper) 

Guide (Dennis Cooper)

Period (Dennis Cooper)

Battle Royale (Kōshun Takami) September

Hannibal Rising (Thomas Harris) December

Towards the End (Joseph Mills) December  


2007 (Age 27)

Catching the Big Fish (David Lynch) January

From Hell (Alan Moore) February

The Man Who Killed His Brother (Stephen R. Donaldson)

The Man Who Risked His Partner (Stephen R. Donaldson)

The Man Who Tried to Get Away (Stephen R. Donaldson)

The Man Who Fought Alone (Stephen R. Donaldson)

Psychopathia Sexualis (Miguel Angel Martin)

Digging the Vein (Tony O’Neill) May?

The Big U (Neal Stephenson)

The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand) August/September

 

????

Ladies Night (Jack Ketchum) early 2000s

1984 (George Orwell) possibly read in either 2002 or 2003

Frisk (Dennis Cooper) read pre-2005

Aleister Crowley and the Hidden God (Kenneth Grant) possibly 2005

The Magical Revival (Kenneth Grant) 2004?