Memories, Dreams, Reflections 2: Self-Portraits

Before I continue on with my reminiscences on my youthful desire of becoming a filmmaker, I should provide some biographical details about myself. During the month of November in 1989, at the age of 9, I began keeping a short-lived “private journal” (that lasted up and till around Thanksgiving Day), and these were some of the traits I assigned to myself at the very start of the journal: “Juggles balls, artistic, mumbles a lot, eats spaghetti, sly as a fox.” In a bio poem written for school on February 9th, 1990, I described myself as “kind, weak, creative, silly,” portrayed myself as a lover of “sharks, drawing, parents,” and claimed that I often saw “messy rooms, bloody boys, and tasty food.” 

In 1991, when I was in the 5th grade, I typed out an even more elaborate autobiographical sketch (obviously done on one of the school computers, judging by the appearance of the font and the early 90’s clip art illustration of the planet Saturn in the upper right hand corner, Saturn being the home planet of my imaginary friend Hammerhead), which I shall now reproduce:

“James

Gross, weird, silly,

Smart

Brother of Tom, Bill, Andy

Lover of

Nintendo, drawing, and

Sharks

Who feels Smart, silly, sure

of himself WHO needs

Plastic surgeory, respect,

and laughs Who fears

Aids, cancer, and brain

tumors WHO gives, help

to friends, and good jokes

WHO would like to see

More gross things, more

work, and more food

WHO lives in Thundermist,

RHODE Island, Champagne”

Evidently I had some sort of weird food fixation in my younger years which now eludes my memory. I also find it odd that, in the above list of expressed fears, I neglected to mention bees, the one thing that scared me more than almost anything when I was a lad. They still terrify me.

In June of 1991, I completed the 5th grade and thus graduated from grade school. During the final days of my grade school experience I created an autograph folder, on the front of which was an illustration of the Waldo character (from Where’s Waldo? fame) walking around with an autograph book, surrounded by a motley assortment of vampires, aliens, red-skinned dwarves, knights, wizards, dragons, and other fantastical creatures and people, all of whom are seeking his autograph. I tried to get everyone in my classroom to personalize and sign this folder (even my teachers). One girl wrote down, “To a really weird kid.” Another girl wrote, “how sad can you get?” I don’t think the girls in my grade school liked me very much. Perhaps because I was prone to getting warts on my hands, and when such a thing happened I would sometimes chase the girls around the playground, trying to touch them with my wart, while they fled away, screaming.